College of Idiots: The Skipper Lous's One For The Cubbies (God These Titles Are Getting Horrible)

An early game meant that I was able to listen to the whole thing yesterday while at work. But before I recap the game, or whatever I do that you Idiots like so much (it's always good to insult your readership), let me briefly go off about the new MLB At Bat.

All the action of a baseball, without all the action = watching paint dry with my eyes closed.

You see this year, like every year, MLB.com changed it's format so that I can get every fucking stat known to man listed on my screen. While this would be great if I was staring at the screen, I am at work and tend to do work things. The thing is, the At Bat loads INCREDIBLY slow on my computer, and I have a pretty new computer. I can't imagine what it's like for people with, say, 5 year old computers, or even worse, dial-up connections. So I have to stop working for 15 minutes while the damn screen loads and then HOPE that the radio will come on. God forbid I want to mute the volume so that I can watch some viral video in-between innings (while I'm on break of course, I AM working). That shit just freezes up the whole computer and I get that twirly rainbow wheel for 5 minutes. So GFY and DIAF MLB.com and At Bat.

Okay, so the Cublogoverse is a little peeved at Lou for the game yesterday. And rightfully so. When everything Lou does seems to go his way, we love him, but when he continually goes against logic and reason, it is bound to catch up to him, as it did yesterday.

Example 1: In the sixth inning the Phillies have men on 2nd and 3rd with 2 outs. Rollins, who is hitting .342, is up to bat. Dempster runs the count to 3-0, with 2 of those balls in the dirt. I was listening along and Pat was talking about how you have an open base, a worse hitter on deck, etc, you know, all those common things that make you sure that they will intentionally walk Rollins to create a force at any bag. Koyie looks into the dugout for the confirmation from Lou. But Lou doesn't want to intentionally walk Rollins. Instead, Dempster throws up a fastball that Rollins jumps on and takes it out of the park. Next batter, Ibanez, Dempster easily strikes out.

If Grabow was a sandwich, he would be a brisket on rye (cause he's a Jew)...topped with poop.

Example 2: Two words: John FUCKING Grabow!

Rock out with your cock out, Aramis! Wait, no, that's not what I meant. I guess that's better anyways.

Example 3: The Cubs crawl back into the game with homers from Lee and Fuku. Apparently the Phillies are only made up of dead people, or people I thought were retired and dead long ago, as Jose Contreras is pitching. A long battle with Soriano ends with him getting hit by the pitch and he advances to 3rd with no outs on a single by Little Babe Ruth, Mike Fontenot. Yeah, he's still on this team, I didn't know either. Castro strikes out swinging and it's the pitchers turn to bat. So what does Lou do? Puts in the worst Cubs hitter, Aramis Ramirez. Now yes, A-Ram had the walkoff homer a couple days ago, but since then and before that he couldn't hit Rihanna with a Chris Brown stick. Aramis runs the count to 3-2 and strikes out on a ball in the dirt. Soto pops out, game over.

You see, Mr. Yellon, the only way to have fun at a Cubs game IS to drink too much beer.

So yeah, I've tried not to talk ill about the Cubs, which pretty much means I haven't written anything since the season has started. But I'm sick and fucking tired of it. The Cubs get a good run going and then Lou steps in and blows it. I know I've said before that Lou is the manager and a hell of a good one. But sometimes it makes you wonder if he just wants to get back in the clubhouse and tie a couple on just a little too early.

Go Hawks!