College of Idiots: Sox Fans Fail: Keeping It Classy

As Cubs fans, we think we have a little more class than our neighbors on the South Side. We try not to stoop to their level of insults and actually Sox fans, we know it's hard for you to believe, but we could care less. Unless of course you go out of your way to prove to us that you are in fact, inbred meth-head dirty crackers. This year, you didn't even make it past the first game.

On Monday, Nemeth's son had to go, and his father took him to the nearest restroom. They stood in line for the first urinal next to a row of stalls.

Everything seems okay so far, I mean usually fathers at Sox games lead their kids into beatdowns of umpires, but whatever.

As they waited, Nemeth said, he noticed noises coming from the last stall. A man's legs — clad in blue jeans and sneakers — were sticking out from under the stall door.

"The toes were pointing up," said Nemeth. "The legs were shaking and quivering. From a visual standpoint, all you had to see was the legs quivering to know something was going on."

An overdose from meth, no doubt.

As a trained physician, he had an idea what was happening in there, but he worried it might have been something else.

Like two dudes blowing each other?

"It was bizarre. It caught the attention of a lot of people. I tried to turn my boy's attention away from it, then I thought, ‘Is someone having a seizure?'

Sox fans, easily distracted by loud noises.

"So I kicked the door, just to get a reaction. I just wanted to make sure nobody was dying in there. That's when I heard a woman's voice yell, ‘HEY, STOP!' Something was going on and I had interrupted."

That something: a little bit of bump-and-grind.

Moments later, the stall door opened, and a tall, thin, blond man exited. The tall man held his arms up in triumph.

Just a thought here, but the author of the article, John Kass, sure does go into a detailed description of what the guy looked like. I can't wait till his detailed description of the girl. How big where her breasts, John?

"His arms were straight up, like in victory," Nemeth said. "Everybody was hooting and hollering and giving high-fives."

Congrats, you now have crabs AND so does everyone that just high-fived you.

Then a second person left the stall, someone Nemeth described as apparently female, "scurrying" out of the restroom with a shirt or coat over her head.

WHAT!?! No description, just "apparently female"? Maybe it was gay sex.

"It was disgusting. Probably the most disgusting thing was the encouragement this guy received from the other guys in the bathroom. You can't even go to a baseball game anymore without being subjected to this?"

Hey, with the lack of teeth and the putrid smell of most Sox fans, the only action they usually get is from the whores on 34th street on the way home from the game. Give the guy some credit.

His son began asking questions. Nemeth told him not to worry about it. They finished their business and got out of there.

Wait, now the father and son are doing their business. What kind-of weird orgies do you guys have on the South Side? On second thought, don't answer that.

He went up to a Sox employee and told her about it. By then, the offending couple were long gone.

It seems to me only the father was the offending one. Everyone seemed to enjoy the free show, like I said, Sox fans are so classy.

Go Cubs!

Update: Cubs Fan Fail, so maybe we aren't all that classy after all.