How To Be A Bad Chicago Sports Fan...Again

So my last post discussed how much Chicago sports was on last night which is why I was able to watch exactly zero of it. Yep, to explain how you too can become the worst Chicago sports fan while still being able to write a blog about, I will share my experience.

First, it's best that you readers understand that the Idiots reside in AZ, which at the moment is on California time. Sometimes we are on Colorado time. This is difficult for us in that sometimes we have to buy beer the Saturday before Bears games and sometimes we don't. Confused? I don't care. Anyway, like I said we are on California time, so everything starts 2 hours earlier than Chicago time, which according to our StatCounter, 4/5 readers reside from. The other one lives in India, who we can only presume is a spy. That's right IP address 203.89.78.87 we are onto you. Again I digress, let me start over.

So yesterday all the action started while at was still at work. I know you might think all bloggers don't have jobs and live in our parent's basements, but all the Idiots are actually employed (knocks on wood). Oh, did I mention I work what the other Idiots refer to as "banker's hours". So I work from 10am - 6:30pm, which is 12noon - 8:30pm Chicago time, for now, until fall when it will be 11am - 7:30pm. So most sports start while I am still at work. Luckily, MLB offered me the chance to be able to listen to what should be free radio for the low price of $19.95. I had to take the deal. So I get to listen to the Cubs games at work, which I did yesterday. At the same time I had two browser windows open: one for the draft and one for porn the Bulls game. The Blackhawk's game I had on record via the Versus channel, which I will discuss later.

So my shift came to a close early while both the Cubs game and Bulls game were still going on. My drive home is roughly 45 minutes, and with both games near the end (Cubs in the 7th, Bulls in the third) I knew both would be over by the time I got home. So I decided to "watch" the Bulls game on my phone on the drive home and just assume the Cubs were not coming back against the Mets. I made the right choice. Until I got home and what seemed like the Bulls easily handling the Cavs throughout the entire game turned into a nail-biter. But I couldn't turn on the tv and watch the game for fear I would see the Blackhawks score, which was now in progress. Remember, I taped it. So I'm stuck looking at my phone refresh the play-by-play action every 30 seconds. Ghey!

Finally the Bulls won, all of the action which I had caught either on an internet or phone description. I checked the Cubs score, yep, the Cubs had lost. Shocker! So I decided to watch the Blackhawks game, or so I thought. See, it's really nice and all that Versus shows the playoff games, but if the previous game they are showing runs long, it bumps out the next game. So far these playoffs I have missed all 1st periods of the Hawks games because of this. I turn on the recording and see that the Sabres/Penguins game is tied. GREAT! If they go into overtime I miss even more of the Hawks game. YEP, FUCKING OVERTIME. Fast forward, fast forward, fast forward. FUCK NOW I'M LIVE AND THEY'RE IN DOUBLE OVERTIME! And then another overtime. By the time the game is over, so is the Hawks game, which started a couple hours after the start of the Sabres/Penguins game.

And now the draft is over, which I don't really care about anyway. So yeah, I watched exactly zero Chicago sports last night. And that my friends, is how to be a horrible Chicago sports fan. I should have just went to Best Buy to wait in line to buy Avatar like the other 4 million Idiots.

Go Cubs!


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