Disclaimer - Ginger Russ and Lazy Steve have not reviewed these predictions and do not necessarily agree with them. But they are dumb shits so who cares?!?!
So I have decided to make a feeble attempt at predicting the outcome of the 2010 MLB season. I'll likely be just as accurate as all of the overpaid 'analysts' out there but hopefully a little more interesting. First, I will lay out each division with the teams predicted record in order then I will follow it up with a brief summary of how I see things playing out.
NL EAST
- Phillies
- Braves
- Mets
- Gnationals
- Fishes
Halladay only makes the Phillies better. No offense to Cliff Lee but Halladay is much more valuable to a team over the course of a season. That being said, who knows how he will produce in the post season. This is arguably the most competitive division (most mediocre teams assembled together?) in baseball and if things pan out with Atlanta's young players I could see them hanging in there into late Sept. The Gnats improvements and Florida's propensity to be a massive pain in the ass will keep the wildcard from coming out of the east.
NL CENTRAL- Cubs
- Cardinals
- Reds
- Brewers
- Joke #1
- Joke #2
Yeah, I am going with the Cubs. Like most knowledgeable baseball fans (ie people who don't work for ESPN) I have no reason to believe that Carpenter/Wainwright will stay healthy like they did last season and don't expect Holliday to keep up his post-trade production. Couple this with the fact that the Cubs should get 130+ games from Aramis and the fact that Soriano WILL NOT be leading off anymore and the Cubs have more than a chance at advancing to the playoffs (where they can then embarrass us again). Oh, did I forget to mention that Milton's gone? Hopefully that reignites the fire in Lou. FYI Seattle...Milton had a great numbers and was not too big of a problem...in Spring Training last year.
Insert Houston and Pittsburgh where you want. Should be fun kicking the heads in of tools like Lance "scardy cat" Berkman. BTW Lance...lightning is going to strike a foul pole or a light standard in that scenario...not some fat fuck standing on the lowest point in the place.
NL WEST- Dodgers
- Giants (WC)
- DBags
- Rockies
- Fathers
SF still doesn't have enough offense to overcome the Dodgers. The Dodgers should really perform much better than they did last season with all those young players having another year of experience. And really, how many people don't think that Lincecum's arm is going to eventually fall off? Arizona might have another record setting season on their hands with Mark Renyolds determined to
set a strikeout record that the likes of Jose Hernandez could only dream of.
AL EAST- Yankees
- Red Sox (WC)
- Doesn't matter
- Doesn't matter
- Doesn't matter
The Rays had their chance 2 seasons ago. The Yankees will again win the division with the Red Sox close on their heels. This will set up another insufferable ALCS in all likely found and unite the rest of America behind whichever NL team advantages to play them.
AL CENTRAL- Twins
- White Sox
- Tigers
- Indians
- Royals
This is probably the most boring division in MLB. Other than the guys batting in the middle of the Minnesota lineup these games are largely unwatchable. There is a chance that the White Sox can pass the Twins based solely on the fact that the Twins huge home field advantage is now gone. Seriously guys? Baseball outside in Minnesota...in April? Dumb.
AL WEST- Angels
- Rangers
- Mariners
- A's
I like the Angels not because they improved themselves but because the other teams in their division regressed (IMHO). Seattle can't seriously think that Bradley is going to pull his shit together and lead them to a division championship. If Chicago gets ANYTHING from Silva this season I will be a happy man, especially when Milton makes his first racism accusations around the 2nd week of April. Can the Rangers come up and take the reigns from LA? Sure, but it depends on what they get from Hamilton.
NLDS- Giants over Phillies - Giants front end pitching shuts down the vaunted Philly offense.
- Dodgers over Cubs - Is there a reason to think the Cubs can win 1 game? OK, we have one, Carlos Zambrano, who has proved to be the most reliable player beyond game 162.
ALDS- Twins over Yankees - Mauer will eventually get to an ALCS. Why not now?
- Red Sox over Angels - Millar rejoins the Sox and continues his unsanctioned Idiocy.
LCS- Giants over Dodgers - Manny is the tying run in game 7 and trips over his stupid fucking hair while attempting to score on a single to left...shrugs it off immediately.
- Twins over Red Sox - The Twins, now used to playing in sub zero conditions, out-class the Red Sox in October.
World Series- Twins over Giants - Lincecum's 'forgetfulness' causes him to miss the flight and can't pitch game 1...ruining their plan to pitch him in games 1, 4, and 7. The Giants never recover and the Twins win it all.
Pretty ridiculous stuff right? We shall see. Cubs @ Braves tomorrow at 4ET/1PT.
GO CUBS!
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