College of Idiots: One Idiots Thoughts on "Idiotgate"

Now look what you've done. You made Mike Fontenot cry.

If you've been following the Cublogoverse this week, you've noticed a little bit of a ten-year-old slap fight going on.

Dubbed, "Idiotgate", it all started when Paul Sullivan blatantly ripped off our schtick and started calling other people idiots, namely Milton Bradley. To this, Aisle 424 took offense and called Paul Sullivan an idiot. Then, Sullivan banned 424 from his twitter, and shit blew up. Jumping into the proverbial pool (I don't even know what that means), Another Cubs Blog and View From the Bleachers called for a ban of Paul Sullivan and the Tribune. After which, Sullivan called in his buddy, Bad Kermit over at Hire Jim Essian, to defend him. Not to be out-done, Wrigleyville 23, Bad News Cubs and handful of other blogs chimed in.

You got that? No? Me neither.

But one thing is clear - no one asked us, the College of IDIOTS, what our stance was on the matter. And what is it, you may ask (or not)? We don't give a shit. You think these people have nothing better to do than sit in their living rooms and type whatever pops into their so-called brains. Get a fucking life. Go outside and calm the fuck down (oh yeah, most of you live in IL, make sure to put on a hat and coat first). REALLY? You're honestly insulted that a beat writer for an almost defunct newspaper called Milton Bradley an idiot?

And Bad Kermit, I thought you were better this, going to Notre Dame and all. Just because you personally know Paul Sullivan and he once called your blog one of the best Cubs blogs out there, I don't think he needs defending, even if he is an older, fatter, non-athletic version of Ryan Theriot who probably couldn't even defend himself against Gary Coleman.

I write for another blog that was deemed "Sullivan Approved", Thunder Matt's Saloon. I asked the other Bartenders over there what they thought of the whole thing and it was answered with a resounding, "Meh". In bartender Brant Brown's own words, "TMS prefer(s) not to get involved in ridiculous sissy fights with insecure blogs like ACB".

So as the assistant Headmaster (I just made that up, kinda catchy) of the College of Idiots, I would like to clear some things up:

Yes, Milton Bradley is an idiot. In our end-of-the-year poll half of our voters agreed so, making him the COI Idiot of the Year. Need more proof? Apparently you missed all of last season.

No, Paul Sullivan is not an idiot (at least not in this case). Tweets are not journalism. Guess what? Your blogs aren't journalism, no matter how much you want them to be or how many (or in most cases, little) people read them. Sullivan is allowed to have an opinion and he expressed it in a forum which allows him to do so. If he did so in the Tribune, he might have been crossing the line, but he didn't. He banned you. Get the fuck over it.

Reaction of Aisle 424 after finding out he just got banned from Sullivan's twitter.

Aisle 424, View from the Bleachers, Another Cubs Blog, etc. are idiots. In fact, Aisle 424, STOP FUCKING TWEETING ALL THE TIME. Look, we don't care that you're having pot roast for dinner. We don't care that you're getting your oil changed. We don't care that you don't like the commercial of the football game you are watching. We don't need incite into every fucking thing that is happening in your life. It fills up our tweeter and we're tired of it. We get it. You mother didn't love you enough so now you are an attention whore. You sucked up enough to the right blogs and now like 12 people read your own blog.

And us? Well, we are the College of Idiots.

Now let's get back to ripping on the Cardinals, White Sox fans, and Jim Hendry and play nice. We know it's still 2 weeks till pitchers and catchers report, so not much is going on, but please, keep the fighting to the frat boys in the bleachers. Your stupid posts are clogging up my Google Reader like walks clog up the bases. Only one blog's posts should be inane and idiotic, and that's ours. So stop treading on our territory.

kthxbai