Is The Riot Worth 1,600 iPads?

Looks like Marmol will be the Cubs closer for the 2010 season, barring a Spring Training meltodown. The Cubs and the Presidential look-a-like agreed to a one-year, $2.125 million dollar deal and avoid an arbitration hearing.

This leaves just the Riot left unsigned, who has broken off talks with the Cubs front office as an arbitration hearing looks inevitable for the first time since Mark Grace went head-to-head with the Cubs in 1993. That time the Cubs won, which is probably the way the arbitration board will rule if the Pocket Rocket (don't you love how Ryan has so many nicknames?) and the Cubs can't reach an agreement.

The one-half of the Cajun Connection is asking $3.4 million. The Cubs countered at $2.6 million, but reports have the Cubs offering as high as $3 million. In case you aren't familiar with the arbitration process (as I wasn't until recently), here is the jist of it:

The Riot with lawyers and Jim Hendry (and lawyers) will sit down and have a back and forth in front of a panel of three people, each trying to prove why their number is what Theriot is worth. After that, the panel must choose a side. There is no meeting half-way.

The Cubs have three options before the two sides meet in sunny Phoenix (YEAH! PHOENIX!). They can either give Theriot what he wants, go to the hearing, or non-tender the shortstop/second baseman, which would basically be letting him walk away. I wouldn't expect the last (and worst case) scenario, but don't expect a big deal to happen, as Ryan is fairly old (30 years) and the Cubs have Castro and COI favorite Andy White ready to replace him as soon as this year.

I have read a majority of the blogs on the subject and many offer statistics that prove each side's arguments with such crazy stats such as WAR, TOOTBLAN, and RTAOBP. What the Riot does have going for him is that he played in more games than any other player on the Cubs last year, stole the most amount of bases, and hit a career high amount of home runs. On the negative side, his BA lowered, his strikeouts increased while his walks went down and his "effectiveness" in the field is lacking.

So basically it boils down to that, or more specifically, $800,000. So I asked myself, what could one buy with $800,000?

• 267,557 McRib Sandwiches
• 1,600 iPads
• 35 Deloreans
• 10,000 Adult Midget Rocker Costumes
• 2,667 Hours of Driving around with Ferrari Guy for Hire, the awesomest person alive (and Jen favorite)
• A personal concert performed by the Bacon Brothers
• 36,363 Bottles of Firestone Walker "13" (a COI favorite)

...And I've gotten bored with looking up what $800,000 can buy you. Pretty suffice to say for Theriot, who only made $500,000 last year, it's a pretty big number. For Rickett's family, who just paid almost a billion dollars for a baseball team, it's a drop in the bucket. Either way, it will leave a bad taste in the mouths of the Cubs front office. I don't expect Theriot to be a Cub for much longer after this year, which although we will miss the scrappy little guy, it will allow for a younger, better defensive player to emerge and hopefully bring the Cubs a World Series title.

Go Cubs!


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