I don't know where my Mom got my Cubs calendar at, but it seems to be a jinx for Cub players. A while back I posted on how McDreamy was Mr. January and was no longer a Chicago Cub. A couple weeks ago Felix "Hot Apple" Pie, or "Mr. November" was traded to Orioles. Well now it appears Rich "I have no catchy nickname" Hill, or Mr. March will soon be gone as well. It's too bad that Hill fell apart as he did, but this guy, "To be named later" might actually work out. Remember that Matt Murton was "player to be named later" in the Garciaparra deal. We miss you Ginger Matt!
So, according to my calendar, who else is going to be traded/have their position replaced by someone else/be injured/not play this year?
January: Mark DeRosa - traded to Clevland
February: Ryan Theriot - loses job to Aaron Miles
March: Rich Hill - soon traded to Orioles
April: Aramis Ramirez - cock fighting injury
May: Carlos Zambrano - jailed for severally beating Milton Bradley in a dugout brawl
June: Alfonso Soriano - injured by hopping...again!
July: Ted Lilly - Ted Lilly is the Chuck Norris of baseball and can never be injured, nor will lose his position to anyone. Police and DA's are afraid to press charges on any suspected murders as Ted Lilly will eat their liver with fava beans and a glass of chianti.
August: Fukudome - cannot make transition to center and loses job to Reed "No one wants to name my beard" Johnson
September: Lou Pinella - hospitalized after trying to break up fight between Zambrano and Bradley
October: Dempster - pulls a Rich Hill or Devon Hester (stops trying after receiving huge offseason contract) and is demoted to Double A to "figure it out"
Novemeber: Felix Pie - traded to Orioles
December: Derrek Lee - traded in 6 team deal which brings Jake Peavy to the Cubs. First base will later be filled by Adam "I kill the Cubs" Dunn.
Well that's it kids. Looks like an entirely different team this year. And welcome back Paul Bako. In my heart you were never gone.
Go Cubs!
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Who's that guy on my Cubs calendar?
Goodbye Ronny-Ce
I will miss all your antics, like getting thrown out on a walk. That was so funny, you silly man.
I will also miss your pitch hitting with two outs that would let me sneak away to the bathroom early because I knew you would strike out. At least you got your one curtain call. Of course we give those to anyone, even Lassie.
Really, I didn't hate Ronny that much. But I didn't love him either. I mean he is no McDreamy. I still hate you Cubs for getting rid of DeRo...those eyes (wait, is that gay?).
On the bright side, I love mayonnaise. Right, we got Hellmann in the trade? Perfect for my ham sammies. That's right, it's a Rachael Ray reference. Okay this is getting weird.
Go Cubs!
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Name that Beard
If you think that is hot, check out the next picture!No, not that Beard. That's Amanda Beard, the Olympic swimmer that posed nude for Playboy. (Did anyone else throw-up a little in their mouth when they saw that pictorial?)
I'm not only the president, I'm also a client of Beard Club for Men.Since it is very slow in Cub news, let's name . Post your suggestions in the comments. If we get enough, I will make a new Poll for the Official COI Reed Johnson's Beard Name (OCOIRJBN...yeah I'm not ripping off TLFC).
Go Cubs!
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No One in Phoenix Got the Memo that Football Season is Over
As I have stated before, football season is over. Has been for a while. It's spring training season, which gets everyone here in AZ excited about the beginning of the 2009 World Series Champion Chicago Cubs. This is why this post will not be about football, or the local Arizona Cardinals...NOT. In another attempt to not write about the Cubs, here goes:
And you thought Arizona was only for spring training. Well all aboard the Cardinal train! Here in AZ, we are being overwhelmed with Cardinal love. Yes, the same Cardinal love that barely sold out their first home playoff game in a gagillion years. Okay, so it took a lot of time for fans to get on the bandwagon, but now everyone is finally settled in. And why wouldn't they be? It's not like 85% of the population of Phoenix is transplanted from another part of the country.
I must admit I'm seeing a lot of Cardinal gear now then I did a few weeks ago. Okay, I'm lying. The only place I see it is on displays in grocery stores, Walgreens, and Jack in the Box. While everyone is apparently converted to Cardinal fan, no one is willing to shell out $20 for a Cardinal NFC Champs t-shirt.
YEEE-HAAAAWWWW. Let's wrangle up some phillies!In contrast, on ESPN this morning, I saw an interview with Danny Piacquadio, the owner of the bar, Harold's Cave Creek Coral. You see, Harold’s Corral is the official home of Heinz Field West a Pittsburgh Steelers Club. They expect over 4,000 fans to pack their bar this Sunday to root on the gold and black. This will actually be more people than live in the town of Cave Creek, AZ, a small ex-mining town and popular biker and old-person vacation destination spot just north of Phoenix.
I have actually been to Harold's on more than a crapful of times, and it's a pretty fun place with decent grub, although never for a Steeler's game, as this would interfere with the watching of the Beloved. I even "met" my girlfriend there. So what did Piacquadio say about the Sunday match-up, or particularly their fans?Well, when growing up, Piacquadio remembers having half-days in elementary school the Friday before Super Bowl Sunday, and that was only to go to school and make and hang Steeler's banners. He also remembers getting the following Monday off so all the kids could stay up and watch the game.
Damn! That is awesome. You think in a city that has never won a Football Championship that schools, or BETTER YET, businesses would adopt this type of fandom in Phoenix. This would be great. Or maybe just institute Monday a State Holiday and have all businesses (besides bars) closed for the day and have one great big VICTORY celebration.
Or not. I'm sure just like the city has forgotten about the D-Bags after their World Series win, they will again forget about the Cards. Which is why I'm rooting for the Steelers, even though Phoenix is my adopted city. Well, that and I hate any team named the Cardinals. And the Football Cardinals used to play in St. Louis. And before that they used to play at Comiskey Park. See, lots of reasons.
Okay, enough, in COI news:
1. Lazy Steve has added a weather widget so you can keep track of the beautiful weather in Mesa, AZ. Bust out those bermuda shorts Cubs fans!
2. I fixed the comments on our site. Comment away!
Autographed photo from J Dot's collection3. J Dot begrudgingly started posting again. Alyssa Milano told him too.
Go Steel...er...Cubs!
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Top 5 games of 2008...#3
Over the Line - For all of you people back in Chicago, read up on this game. You can play it with a Clincher and you only need 3 players to a team. Oh, did I mention that beer swilling is encouraged? What a great game.
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Please Don't Do That.
Ok, in interest of full disclosure, I have been hesitant to post over here at COI because there is a pretty good chance the Cubs collapse was entirely my fault. How you ask? Let us take a trip down memory lane.
The Cubs were riding high, a juggernaut of baseball awesomeness, preparing to beat the pants off the Dodgers. I and my 3 readers were basking in the glory of it all, blissfully unaware that doom was on the horizon. Then, disaster struck. One of the Idiots was heading off on vacation and they needed another "idiot" to take his place. Two semi-humorous posts later the Cubs were done. Coincidence you say? I don't believe in coincidences. What's more likely, that the Cubs forgot to hit, field and pitch for three games or that by joining COI I upset the balance of the universe? I think we all know the answer to that question.
Anyway, that is all behind me now. It's a new year and there is a lot new stuff to get excited about as far as our Cubs are concerned. We have a new owner, a new right fielder, a new second baseman, a new closer-ish person AND So Taguchi. So with the awkward first annual COI/FOTG spring training meet-up only 3 weeks away, I felt that now was the best time to revisit a topic we discussed over on the other blog, things you shouldn't do at Cubs games. In no particular order, here is the 2009 version:
Please, Don't...
1) Yell things at Milton Bradley other than "You are a great addition to our team and by no means is your fragile mental health something that anyone should be concerned with!"
You are putting your life and the lives of those around you at risk if you yell anything else.
2) Wear a 2008 Divisions Champions hat.
Why not just kick us all in the balls and eliminate the middle man?
3) Boo
We get it. You want them to win. But booing every time they make an error or fail to get a runner over or Neal Cotts comes into the game is annoying and makes Derreck Lee sad.
4) Hold up a sign that says "It's Gonna Happen."
It hasn’t happened yet. Every win doesn’t mean they’re going to the World Series. As if the rest of us don’t have enough to deal with without you morons making us look like clueless drunks. We can do that fine on our own.
5) Bitch about Cuban not being the new owner.
There aren't enough recliners or flat screen TVs in the world to make Ronny understand what a breaking ball looks like.
Go Cubs.
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I interrupt all the political BS to bring you...game 4 of my top 5 of 2008
August 15, 2008 - Chicago Cubs @ Florida Marlins
For 8 innings this was a fairly terrible game to watch. Zambrano had one of those shitty innings that became a staple for him in 2008 in the 3rd and the Cubs went into the 9th trailing by 2. I sat in Old Chicago watching the game with some Idiots and some others from work. The top of the 9th rolled around and I had just about given up. Luckily, I just ordered another Lagunitas IPA so I didn't have to listen to the finish on XM. DeRosa, as he did so many times in 2008, got things started with a leadoff walk. Fontenot then hit a soft liner to 3rd for the 1st out. Reed followed that with a clutch hit to bring the winning run to the plate. D Nice (aka Monte Ward) soon came up with his most impressive PH as a Cub. He hammered a home run to deep right center giving the Cubs the lead. In typical Wood fashion, Kerry made things interesting in the 9th but nailed down the save. This win gave the Cubs a 5.5 game lead over the Brewers with only a month and a half of play left. I can honestly say that after this game I allowed myself to think about the playoffs. Little did I know how much I would end up appreciating the regular season with respect to the post season.
Have that wasn't too bad of a good night story. If nothing else it gives you something actually Cubs related to read.
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On Defending the Cublogoverse
Disclaimer: This article is long and probably makes no sense. It is my (Ginger Russ) response to a recent post in which I referenced a post by the blog The Bad News Cubs and the (few) reactions that came from the two posts. This is blog is entirely my opinion and in no way reflects the opinions of the other authors of College of Idiots.
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. ~Voltaire
Who knew people actually read our blog?
Through the use of the brilliant Google Reader, I try to keep up with the news and opinions of the intra-web's Cublogoverse. As I was going through my endless list of blogs from over 30 different sites (It's amazing that if I don't keep up, I can have a list 130 articles long in a matter of a couple days), I came upon a very opinionated, swear-filled, and slur-riddled blog title from Bad News Cubs. How could I resist, I love swearing.
After finally getting through all the ranting and raving, I decided to write a post about the blog and state that I partially agreed with Mike's point about some Cubs blogs talking shit. I thought nothing of it. It was the end of the day, I needed something to post about, and with the lack of news, this seemed reasonable. Little did I expect that people actually would read the post or even have an opinion about it.
But it seems some people actually do read our site, and picked up on my backing of the article from BNC. In particular it was referenced in Another Cubs Blog comments section in an article about the Cubs signing So Taguchi. This weekend, Bleacher Nation wrote an article about the BNC article and referenced my article as a disappointment for supporting Mike's article (can I say article in this paragraph again? Article, article, article.)
First of all, I still give kudos to Mike for expressing his opinion. What I like about blogs is that they are written by people expressing their opinions. None of us are professional sports writers. We are fans who sit in front of a computer all day and enjoy taking brief vacations from our cubicle-life to share with others something that we love, namely the Cubs. Being a part of the Cublogoverse is fun and it's always enjoyable to turn to my Google Reader and read what others have to say.
I assume that most people that read blogs do not take what they read as fact. Like I said, we are not beat reporters. Yes, some of the more established blogs actually do have inside sources and often report on rumors that are not yet broke through the Cubs organization. This is one of the aspects of reading 10-30 blogs a day that I enjoy, but mainly I read them because I am interested in the opinions, stories, and often hilarious satire that these blogs express.
The test of democracy is freedom of criticism. ~David Ben-Gurion
One thing that I have noticed in past year of joining the "blogger-nation" of Cub fans is that some sites seem to give harsh criticism to other blogs and writers, as well as people they think are not "true" Cub fans. In particular, these sites are usually established Cub blogs, rather than ones that have sprung up in the past couple years, like our site. I have also noticed that these "feuds" often spawn from spats in comment sections or shoutboxes and usually end with one blog author being banned from another blog and then getting pissed off and talking shit about that blog*.
*I would like to point out that COI has never been the point of attack, as we are a very small blog and all 5 of our readers tend to like us. Also, I rarely partake in commenting on other sites and have never talked shit about any blog directly (Cubs related anyways).
This being said, I would like to say that while I defend Mike for writing his article, I do not agree with his individual attack on Wrigleyville 23, and in particular do NOT agree with his use of persistent homophobic slurs within his piece.
I was amazed to read that Ace from Bleacher Nation actually reads our site, let alone enjoys it. Ace did not attack my post, but rather my lack of "not mentioning the disgusting bile that filled the BNC post."
At the end of the article, he writes, "It’s possible to get the message across - yes, even with the angry machismo shtick that makes it unique - without the homophobic slurs."
This I agree with.
Ace was actually very eloquent and to the point (unlike me, who just rambles on and on) with disagreeing with BNC and myself for supporting the article. The comments on his article were interesting and less rational though.
From savant:
This brings to mind the old saying you know the difference between porn and art when you see it, and I happen to like both. I read his blog yesterday, and I understand he is going for the edgy confrontational thing, but to me it came off as lets put on our Doc Martins and go stomp some gays.
Being the devil's advocate, I have to disagree with savant on a couple points:
1) If you compare blogs to porn and art, then aren't all blogs really closer related to porn that art? I would say the sports writers are the artists. They get paid to do their job. They are unbiased (usually) and articulate. Blogs on the other hand are the voyeuristic cousin of sports writing. We get off by viewing into other people's minds and their thoughts, and then write about it. I would say most blogs like WV23, ACB, and BN are like your average soft-core and sometimes mainstream porn. You get a glimpse, but not the ramming home of two huge cocks into a midget's asshole. BNC is like the bukkake porn of blogs. It's in your face and you probably don't like looking at it. But I still defend the right for it to be expressed. In turn I also defend the right to dislike it and write about that.
2) While Mike's article did go overboard (no, really?) with the use of homophobic slander, I really don't think he was actually attacking gay people. Yes, it is wrong to use a group of people: race, creed or sexual preference to attack people. I don't agree with it at all, and there are other ways to attack someone, but to go out and say that Mike was attacking gay people directly is incorrect. He was attacking WV23, and unfortunately used a narrow-minded way of going about it.
So again, I disagree with Mike's way of expressing his opinion, but still defend his right to do so.
I won't go into the attacking of Mike directly by ACB and his response, you can read them for yourself. I will say that it seems like the pointless bickering and name calling of kids. Which is what Mike's original article was basically about. I'm sure he knew he would get a rise out of people, and that is why he posted it, and it did.
So yes, maybe I was wrong for expressing my support and enjoyment in the Bad News Cubs. I agree with Ace of Bleacher Nation that we should take responsibility to censor ourselves and not give overly homophobic tones to our articles. But maybe I was right too. Not everything you read you are going to agree with. The land of the internet is one of the few places left where you can freely express your opinion without censorship. I think, or hope, Ace, as well Mike, agrees with me on that.
Also, I would like to point out that after a little over a year of being a member of the Cublogoverse, I have received nothing but well wishes and unearned praise from all the blogs that read us and sometimes even enjoy us. I would like to thank everyone who has commented on our articles, linked to them, and especially to those who include a link to our site on your own blog. Thank you (in no way is this meant to kiss anyone's ass...okay, maybe a little bit).
Now back to your regularly scheduled crappy rants about Cub players, management, fast food establishments, the Cards, the White Sux, the Brewers, and the Packers, written by a graphic designer with no journalism training that only gets his facts correct half of the time.
Go Cubs!
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NFC Championship - How did it come to this?
I am going to reiterate my position on this NFC Championship game for the 2 readers of this blog. This is a joke. Evidently I am not the only person who thinks so. Frankly, I am embarassed that the Cardinals are playing in this game and could potentially represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. I have no doubt that if the Bears played this team they would have ground them into the sod. I am looking forward to next year's matchup against them at Solider Field very much.
In the mean time, we are all going to sit around at Lazy Steve's and pray that the Cardinals don't win. I just want to see a competitive SB, and with these Cardinals there, it won't be.
Oh, and Beloved. How could you not pull out that game in Houston? I could potentially be going to watch you guys today in Glendale if not for the lackluster 2nd/3rd quarter effort and general stupidy from Babich.
Maybe we should get a Fire Bob Babich blog going....or Marinelli for Def Coordinator!
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Angry Mike is back...with his top 5 games of 2008
ST 2009 is going to be bitter-sweet for me. I am probably going to be stuck out of town for most of late Feb and March. Needless to say, I will be doing my best to sneak back to Phoenix on weekends but the odds are that I won't be attending my normal 7-10 Spring Training games. What does that mean for all of you? Absolutely nothing.
So lets move on....I decided a list of my favorite games from 2008 is in order. Call it a part of the healing process. This team made me more angry during their short playoff run then most of us will ever know. I knew the Demp in game 1 move was terrible idea. I knew K Fuk's slump would ruin this lineup. I knew a lot of things. Lou knew the same things. He is a great manager and he gave these guys a chance to step up and be hero's. They failed....miserably....and it's time to move on.
Let the healing begin........................
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Cubs Are SO, SO, SO Good!
I imagine this is what it's like back home. Poor bastards.The Cubs continued their affinity with players who last name begins with the letters, "S-O" by signing another former Cardinal, So Taguchi to a minor league deal (in Japan they have their last name, first and first name, last, correct?)
So Taguchi joins catcher Geovany SOto and Left Fielder Alfonso SOriano to create a trifecta of "SO" players on the Cubs. Other Cub players started to jump on the bandwagon, adding or changing the letters "S-O" to their last name including: Derrek Solee, Ryan Soriot, Carlos Somol, Jeff Somardzija, Felix Sopie, and Ronny Sodeno, who just inked a one year deal worth almost 1 million dollars (REALLY, that much?)
Also, Carlos doesn't see very well out of his right apparently, and will undergo LASIK. From a guy who skipped out of his MRI because he is afraid of modern medicine, it will be interesting to see who gets to hold him down or how much horse tranquilizer they will have to inject him with to get that procedure down.
Enjoy MLK Day all you government employees! Try to stay warm ...or just head out early to AZ for Spring Training, it's gorgeous out here.
Go Cubs!
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And I thought I Swore A lot in My Blogs...
www.nataliedee.com
This post from Mike over at The Bad News Cubs (who is now quickly rising up my personal favorite blogs if he keeps this up) tells you why you should like Jay Mariotti or shut the fuck up.
Most of the time I agree that the more "popular" Cub blogs tend to think of themselves as above everybody else, especially us "lower class" blogs. Kudos to Mike for speaking his mind, whether or not I entirely agree (I actually like the band Pavement).
Thanks to Natalie Dee for the great cartoon.
Go Cubs!
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The Cubs are Sold! NOT!
The Tribune company is again extending the deadline for final bids. The bidders are the Ricketts family, which started online brokerage TD Ameritrade Holding Corp.; Chicago real estate executive Hersch Klaff; and a group led by Marc Utay, a New York private-equity investor who grew up in the Chicago area.
Let's get going on this already.
In Chicago, there is something about a Cubs Convention. I live in AZ, so I know nothing about this. From the news though, I gather it's cold and snowy. I burned my hand on my steering wheel this afternoon going to lunch. And I wore a t-shirt and shorts to work. Jealous? (Honestly, I feel bad for all those people in the Midwest...well maybe not too bad.)
Cubs blogs: We are getting a lefty pitcher from Japan.
Cubs: No, we aren't.
Cubs blogs: Yes, we are.
Cubs: No, we aren't.
Cubs blogs: Well I'm silent protesting the Cubs Convention then.
Cubs: I don't care.
Cubs blogs: Do you want to buy a "I Got Wood" t-shirt?
Cubs: No
...and that was going nowhere. That's your news for today, in the most confusing manner I could give it to you. Maybe some of the other Idiots will chime in here someday. Enjoy the new header, especially for Hump Day (Wednesday)!
Go Cubs!
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Cubs greats fall short of Hall. Ricky Henderson accepts the award for Ricky Henderson
Dawson almost sneaked in but didn't make it But at least he increased his votes again. Come-on! The guy won the MVP for the last place Cubs. That's gotta count for something.
One of my favorite players for yore did make it in though on his first ballet: Ricky Henderson. We all love Ricky for speaking about himself in the third person. So in tribute, here are the Top 25 Ricky Henderson moments, as copied from www.lemmingtrail.com:
1) In June 1999, when Henderson was playing with the Mets, he saw reporters running around the clubhouse before a game. He asked a teammate what was going on and he was told that Tom Robson, the team’s hitting coach, had just been fired. Henderson said, “Who’s he?”
2) Rickey... on referring to himself in the third person:
“Listen, people are always saying, ‘Rickey says Rickey.’ But it’s been blown way out of proportion. People might catch me, when they know I’m ticked off, saying, ‘Rickey, what the heck are you doing, Rickey?’ They say, ‘Darn, Rickey, what are you saying Rickey for? Why don’t you just say, ‘I?’ But I never did. I always said, ‘Rickey,’ and it became something for people to joke about.”
3) In the early 1980s, the Oakland A’s accounting department was freaking out. The books were off $1 million. After an investigation, it was determined Rickey was the reason why. The GM asked him about a $1 million bonus he had received and Rickey said instead of cashing it, he framed it and hung it on a wall at his house.
4) In 1996, Henderson’s first season with San Diego, he boarded the team bus and was looking for a seat. Steve Finley said, “You have tenure, sit wherever you want.” Henderson looked at Finley and said, “Ten years? Ricky’s been playing at least 16, 17 years.”
5) This one might be my second favorite. This wasn’t too long ago, I think it was the year he ended up playing with the Red Sox. Anyway, he called San Diego GM Kevin Towers and left the following message: “This is Rickey calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to play baseball.”
6) This one happened in Seattle. Rickey struck out and as the next batter was walking past him, he heard Henderson say, “Don’t worry, Rickey, you’re still the best.”
7) Rickey once asked a teammate how long it would take him to drive to the Dominican Republic.
8) Moments after breaking Lou Brock’s stolen base record, Henderson told the crowd – with Brock mere feet next to him – “Lou Brock was a great base stealer, but today, I am the greatest of all-time.”
9) Henderson once fell asleep on an ice pack and got frostbite – which forced him to miss three games — in mid-August.
10) A reporter asked Henderson if Ken Caminiti’s estimate that 50 percent of Major League players were taking steroids was accurate. His response was, “Well, Rickey’s not one of them, so that’s 49 percent right there.”
11) Henderson broke Ty Cobb’s career record for runs scored with a home run. After taking his usual 45 seconds or so around the bases, Rickey slid into home plate.
12) On being Nolan Ryan’s 5,000th career strikeout: “It gave me no chance. He (Ryan) just blew it by me. But it’s an honor. I’ll have another paragraph in all the baseball books. I’m already in the books three or four times.”
13) San Diego GM Kevin Towers was trying to contact Rickey at a nearby hotel. He knew Henderson always used fake names to avoid the press, fans, etc. He was trying to think like Rickey and after several attempts; he was able to get Henderson on the phone.
Rickey had checked in under Richard Pryor.
14) I didn’t believe this one at first. However, I emailed a few contacts within the Sox organization and they claim it actually happened. This is priceless, it really is.
The morning after the Sox finished off their 2004 World Series sweep against St. Louis, Henderson called someone in the organization looking for tickets to Game 6 at Fenway Park.
15) The Mets were staying in a hotel less than a mile from Cinergy Field in Cincinnati. While some players walked, most took the team bus. A few minutes after they arrived — again it was less than a mile – the last players off the bus noticed a stretched limo that had just pulled up.
Of course, Rickey emerged from the back seat.
16) A reporter once asked Rickey if he talked to himself, “Do I talk to myself? No, I just remind myself of what I’m trying to do. You know, I never answer myself so how can I be talking to myself?”
17) OK, I know everyone has been waiting for it. Alas, according to both parties involved, it’s not true. I wish it were. Heck, both Rickey Henderson and John Olerud have said they wish it were true. But it just didn’t happen.
The story went that a few weeks into Henderson’s stint with the Mariners, he walked up to Olerud at the batting cage and asked him why he wore a batting helmet in the field. Olerud explained that he had an aneurysm at nine years old and he wore the helmet for protection. Legend goes that Henderson said, “Yeah, I used to play with a guy that had the same thing.” Legend also goes that Olerud said, “That was me, Rickey.”
Henderson played with Olerud on the Blue Jays and the Mets.
18) Rickey was asked if he had the Garth Brooks album with Friends in Low Places and Henderson said, “Rickey doesn’t have albums. Rickey has CDs.”
19) During a contract holdout with Oakland in the early 1990s, Henderson said, “If they want to pay me like Mike Gallego, I’ll play like Gallego.”
20) In the late 1980s, the Yankees sent Henderson a six-figure bonus check. After a few months passed, an internal audit revealed the check had not been cashed. Current Yankees GM Brian Cashman – then a low-level nobody with the organization – called Rickey and asked if there was a problem with the check. Henderson said, “I’m just waiting for the money market rates to go up.”
21) This is my all-time favorite. Rickey was pulled over by a San Diego police officer for speeding. As the officer was approaching Rickey’s car, the window went down a few inches and a folded $100 bill emerged. The officer let Rickey and his money head home without a ticket.
22) When he was on the Yankees in the mid-1980s, Henderson told teammates that his condo had such a great view that he could see, “The Entire State Building.”
23) During one of his stays with Oakland, Henderson’s locker was next to Billy Beane’s. After making the team out of spring training, Beane was sent to the minors after a few months. Upon his return, about six weeks later, Henderson looked at Beane and said, “Hey, man, where have you been? Haven’t seen you in awhile.”
24) To this day and dating back 25 years, before every game he plays, Henderson stands completely naked in front of a full length locker room mirror and says, “Ricky’s the best,” for several minutes.
25) In the last week of his lone season with the Red Sox, Chairman Tom Werner asked Henderson what he would like for his ‘going-away’ gift. Henderson said he wasn’t going anywhere, but he would like owner John Henry’s Mercedes. Werner said it would be tough to get the same make and model in less than a week and Henderson said, “No, I want his car.” Turns out the Sox got Henderson a Red Thunderbird and when he saw it on the field before the last game of the season, Rickey said, “Whose ugly car is on the field?”
Go Cubs!
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No News Friday
It's Official Officially-Official
My roommate would have a conniption if he saw you straightening out that bill.Welcome to Chicago MB. Now we just need a clever nickname that won't make you want to kick our ass. Just kidding there, big guy!
Trevor Hoffman's rookie card. Amazingly, he hasn't aged that much.In other NL Central news, the Brewers just signed the 164 year old Trevor Hoffman.
Go Cubs!
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Cubs Fans to Marquis: You Never Know What You Had, Until It's Gone.
Marquis saw a lot of this last year. But you don't remember that, do you?I'm a little confused. All I remember during the season was how much everyone hated Marquis. He pissed off Lou big time last year in Spring Training when he demanded a starting role or be traded. Believe me, that wasn't lost on anyone with the trade to Colorado.
Or was it?
All of a sudden, the Cubs Blog-o-verse has turned 180 and is praising Marquis for his job well done in Chicago. Like a battered wife, it seems Cub fans refuse to believe Marquis would do it to us again.
So what are they saying? Apparently Marquis is now a better than average 5th starter the Cubs will regret trading for if they don't "do what everyone thinks they're going to do...and freak out...man!" No wait, that's from a Tom Cruise movie, or one of the greatest stoner movies ever made. I meant to say that some people are now complaining that if the salary dump of Marquis doesn't bring the Padres ace to Chicago that this is a bad deal.
From Bleed Cubbie Blue:
I think Marquis did exactly what he was asked to do: take the ball every fifth day and pile up innings... I wish him well, and there's at least a chance he might wind up as the Rockies' starter for the Cubs' home opener on April 13.
The Cubs home opener is the Rockies 7th game of their season. Which if they go with a traditional 5 man rotation will mean Marquis will be the Rockies #2 starter. Damn the Rockies suck.
From Hire Jim Essian:
And if those three sort of glorious memories in two seasons aren’t enough for us to give Marquis a halfhearted “thanks for being the fifth starter,” at least the Cubs made the playoffs both seasons they had Marquis. That’s something. Right?
No, Kermit, it's not. Marquis has been a team to make the playoffs every year of his career. By that logic, Marquis is some sort-of magical playoff elf with fairy post-season dust.
From Cubbie Nation:
He did a great job for the Cubs over the last two seasons. I won't go so far as to say he ate up innings, which is one of the more intellectually dishonest ideas that I've heard in baseball, but he earned his pay. He took the ball every fifth day, got some big wins, and stabilized what was a very shaky starting pitching situation upon his arrival in Chicago. He made a great anchor on the back end, and for that, he'll be missed.
Wait, didn't Al say he did pile up innings. I'm getting more confused.
A Hundred Next Years:
While Marquis failed to reach the 15-win or 200-IP thresholds in either of his seasons with the Cubs, he did a respectable job—maybe a more than respectable job—for a #5 starter type of guy.
Marquis's two-season Cub totals:
23 wins, 18 losses, 358 2/3 IP in 63 starts (about 5 2/3 IP per start), 200 K, 146 BB
More impressive: Marquis's Cub ERA was 4.57, which was dead even with the National League average ERA for 2007-08--again, not too bad for a #5 guy.
Although it was the worst of all the Cubs starters for the year. Exactly why he was the #5 guy.
Really? So $10 million is a good price to pay for a 5th starter? Or someone that might not even make the starting rotation. As Cubs.com is reporting, they are probably going to keep that search in-house with 4-1/2 different pitchers in Marshall, Samardzija, Hart, Guzman and Hill (HA! Although watch me eat my words on this one) fighting for the final spot. Either way, the combined 2009 salary of the 5 pitchers is just under $20 million* (I think, couldn't find the actual numbers for 2009 so this is based off of 2008 salaries).
Okay, so Marquis has had a winning record with the Cubs. So what? It's not that hard to be a pitcher with a winning record on a team that wins 97 games in a season. And forgive for going back again to Marquis' salary, but for a guy making that kinda cash he should be a number #2 or #3 starter at the lowest. Of course most teams don't have the benefit of a starting rotation including Zambrano, Harden, Lilly, and "Where the fuck did I come from?" Dempster, who no one even expected to last or even make it to the starting rotation last year, let alone become the #1 starter.
So really, I don't feel that bad for Marquis du Suc. The only thing I will miss about Marquis is his bat, and having another pinch hitter on the bench. But if someone paid me that much money at my job, I sure as hope they would expect more than what's barely expected. It's like when Jennifer Aniston only wore the minimum amount of pieces of flair while working at Chotchkie's in Office Space. Jason Marquis was the Jennifer Aniston of the Cubs. And don't complain about how you are entitled to a starting pitching position or you want to go elsewhere. He should have been happy to be on a such a great team with great fans that he could have won over, but instead could have cared less about.Good luck to those pitchers still on the Cubs fighting for Marquis' position in Spring Training. It will good to see you there and see which one steps up to the plate...or pitches to it...well...good enough to be the 5th starter.
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Ranger's Blog Liked Getting Bradley
I was wondering what Ranger's fans might have thought of acquiring Milton Bradley at the beginning of last year. We all know that despite the injuries, Bradley had his best year, but what did another team's fans think? Apparently they were excited as we are, as well has having the same qualms. From Lone Star Ball circa December 9th, 2007:
So, I wake up this morning, wander in here, and discover the Rangers have signed Milton Bradley to a one year deal for around $4 million.Very nice.
Look, I'm not going to get too hyped up about this, because Bradley has the baggage everyone knows about...can't stay healthy, a headcase, recovering from a torn ACL that may keep him out at the start of the season...
But you know what? He's immediately the best outfielder on this team. And on a one year deal, he's worth taking a chance on. Plus, we are seeing the managerial situation starting to pay dividends. From the Evan Grant article I linked above:
As the Rangers left the winter meetings on Thursday, they weren't optimistic about the chances to get Bradley. A California native, it appeared Bradley would be going back to San Diego on a one-year, $4 million deal. But the Rangers apparently made a strong push over the last two days. Bradley's desire to reunite with manager Ron Washington, with whom he worked in Oakland, was apparently a significant factor. Washington has long expressed an affinity for Bradley.Hey, this may be Richard Hidalgo redux. But given where this team is, and given the outfield options, this is a worthwhile roll of the dice. And it isn't like this deal is going to prevent the Rangers from doing something else. Grant also mentions that Kosuke Fukudome is expected to announce this week that he's heading for the U.S., and the Rangers are still in on him.
Grant also mentions that the Rangers have been informed that LaTroy Hawkins is signing somewhere else, which doesn't cause me to lose too much sleep.
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I'M FREAKING ANNOYED!
Okay, maybe this is a little late since Hendry managed to sign Milton Bradley yesterday and will probably be able to get rid of Marquis today(?) got rid of Marquis today. But here is my letter (click to enlarge) to Mr. Hendry via Burger King's Angy-Gram website. To watch an Angry Whopper read the letter, follow the link below.
http://www.angry-gram.com/index.php?hash=rqsrqgdfrqwbfffqswrrrfcwccbhgs
Go Cubs!
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Cubs Sign Milton Bradley: All the Pun-Tastic Titles Are Already Taken.
Subway used this entire jar of Pepper Rings to Put on My SandwichHey subway. What's the deal with only putting like 2 pickle slices on my sub and then 10 million slices of banana peppers? And this is after I specifically requested, "Just a little bit of banana peppers." And thank you for reading my mind about how much mustard I wanted as well. I really didn't want to taste anything else on my sandwich. I hate you Subway. At least I got my Dance Dance Revolution Valkyrie Action Armband I needed.
What, you thought this post was going to be about the Cubs signing Milton Bradley? Ridiculous. Honestly, I don't know much about the guy beside what I have read on other Cubs blogs. This is what I am to understand:
1. Cubs blogs happy.
2. He has a temper.
3. He likes to throw things.
4. He gets injured.
5. He's not as attractive as DeRo.
6. Switch hitter. Yeah lefties!
7. Good name for puns.
So since I don't really know much beyond this, I decided to Wikipedia his ass. Dude, this guy is old! He was born in 1836. That makes him like 5000 years old. He also was the founder of the company that created 2 of my favorite games as a kid:
Almost as fun as Hungry, Hungry Hippos.
When having statues of almost naked guys in your game was kosher.Angry Mike is already yelling at me from across the Intra-webs that this is the wrong Milton Bradley. But I knew that. Gotcha!
So I won't go much into the signing because you have probably read all about it on one or more of the other way-better Cub blogs out there.
Ryan Dempster: Still the Funniest Man Ever
In town to attend the Winter Classic, Dempster planned to skate on the ice surface at Wrigley Field on Friday. While he enjoyed the New Year's Day game and liked the look of the ballpark, he said he doesn't believe Cubs fans will ever accept the idea of a Jumbotron in Wrigley.
"And if we get a Jumbotron, I can't pull the instant replay thing on all the rookies," he said. "Every time there's a good play, we're like, 'Oh, look at the replay,' and you get the rookies to look at the scoreboard. It's a pretty neat little thing, but I kind of like the nostalgia of Wrigley."
Aaron Miles is Fucking BAD-ASS
The gunman walked Miles over to the window of the Kissimmee, Fla., motel room where he was being held hostage, and told him to open the curtain. Miles did as he was told. Then the gunman bent over to look through the window, moving the gun from behind Miles' head to his right cheek. And that's when Miles made his move, grabbing the barrel of the gun and holding onto it for dear life. The two men struggled for control, and the gunman didn't play fair. He punched Miles. He bit Miles in the back. He jumped onto Miles' back. But the 5-8 Miles, whose back was bleeding from the bite, wouldn't let go of the gun. Instead, with the gunman still on his back, Miles body slammed him against the wall. The gunman fell to the ground, and Miles fell on top of him. They both were still holding the gun, which now was pointed at the ceiling.
''Get the bleep in here!'' Miles yelled to the police as loud as he could. ''Get the bleep in here!''
Miles yelled those words again and again. The cops heard him. But the gunman had locked the door. The cops busted into the motel room by breaking the window with the butt of a shotgun. One cop pointed his gun at the gunman.
''Drop the gun,'' the cop said to the gunman. ''Drop the gun.''
The gunman refused to let go. Miles was still on top of the gunman, and the gun they held was still pointed at the ceiling. The cop fired at the gunman from point-blank range, putting six shots into him. Finally, the gunman's hand fell off the gun. Miles had prevailed.
If All the Other Blogs Jumped Off a Bridge, Would You?
Since every other blog is doing a recap of the past year, here is mine:
Best Blog of the Year (written by me)
Basket Weaving Kittens
This blog inspired by Martin of FOTG shot COI as high as #51 on the Top 100 Baseball Blogs.
Worst Blog the Year (written by me)
Mmm...Special Sauce!
A low point in which I'm sure I ate too much crack before writing.
Top Searches that Found Our Blog
My personal favorite: Pictures of what the waitresses at wild wings wear to work.Other Random Thoughts:
1. Florida will kick the tar out of Oklahoma making yet another National Championship Game a disaster for Fox.
2. Most Anticipated Album since Chinese Democracy: The Postal Service, Give Up
3. Spring Training tickets go on sale tomorrow. COI members Lazy Steve and Angry Mike put in their request to take the entire month of March off from work.
4. Despite the fact that the huge bottle of pre-made Hurricane I bought for New Year's is blue, all recipes point towards red as the actual color. Am I color blind?
5. Beginning Jan 1st, AZ is making illegal all license plate covers that cover up the state name on the license plates. And since there license plates have the name at the VERY TOP, this means no more license plate covers. I think they just hate me because now I have to remove my Chicago Bears license plate cover...someday.
6. Work weeks that consist of more than 4 days suck. Already.
7. Angry Mike tried to point out that the picture of March's Cub on my new calendar was actually Ted Lilly and not Rich Hill. Here is a better picture to prove it is Rich Hill. I was actually right for once.
That's it for now. Go Cubs!
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Girls Dig the Stubble
The Packers still suck.Now that the football is officially over, we can once again focus on the Cubs. Yes it was heartbreaking seeing the Bears throw away their chance to play this past weekend, but really, were they going anywhere if they made it? The playoffs this year seem like a bunch of nobodies anyway. Living in AZ, it was hilarious to find out that the Cardinals needed an extension to avoid a local tv blackout. HA! No one wants to see a bunch of birds play football anyways.
Oh right, baseball. Football season is over, I forgot. Well it's been a productive offseason for the Cubs, huh? In case you haven't noticed Hendry hasn't yet picked up Peavy or a power left-handed outfielder yet. We have managed to get another Cardinal in Aaron Miles. I fucking hate the Cardinals. Let's hope he's as big of a surprise as Lassie was.
Just think of me as a fat version of Mark DeRosa.Other news...Marquis DeSuc is basically packed and out the door. HOORAY! At least that means he won't be complaining about making the rotation and going to play elsewhere.
Something else just happened...
Oh, yeah. Female Cub fans just lost another hottie with the departure of Mark DeRosa. You know ladies, his heart flutters for you (Get it? Cause he has a bad ticker. I crack myself up.) Cubblogging and In A League of Her Own are crying on their keyboards. Sorry ladies. Apparently the move was to free up money for that board game dude that loses his temper all the time. What's his name? Mr. Moneybags from Monopoly?
Although some are speculating because we got these guys,
that the trade was to sweeten the deal for Peavy, or as I like to call him, "Brian Roberts v2". Unfortunately those involved still claim that deal is dead, and the major obstacle now seems to be the sale of Cubs and the new owner's decision if they want to shell out that kinda cash on an awesome pitcher, effectively making 4 out of 5 of our starting pitchers the #1 pitcher on any other team. Let me make this clear for you, new owner(s), "THIS IS A GOOD DEAL!" Unfortunately the new owner's are a pipe dream and the Cubs will never be sold. LONGEST DEAL EVER!!!
Which brings me to my next point. Okay not really. Sidebar. So my Mom got me a Cubs calendar for Christmas. Guess who is Mr. January?
That's right, McDreamy himself. Okay, it's not the calendar's fault, it couldn't see that coming. But look who's Mr. March:
That's right. The Cubs ace, Rich Hill. WHAT??? Maybe the calendar guys messed up and meant to put Rich Harden. I know, there names are so much alike. I just wish Rich Hill good luck this season pitching for the Caracas Elementary School T-ball team.
DeRo's smokin hot wife 
Kerry married the only hot girl to ever be born in Waukegan.And finally, it wouldn't be a Ginger Russ post without some smokin lady pics. The Cubs Brickyard is reporting that the state of Ohio just doubled the amount of hot chicks living in the state, thanks to the additions of DeRo and Kid K, or particularly their smokin wives.
Well that's it for now. Maybe more posting next week. Maybe not. Maybe we will get some news here to post about soon.
Go Cubs!
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