COI Crimes Against Humanity: The Game Recap

What does this video have to do with the Cubs? You have to read to find out! BUWAHAHAHA!

At COI, we like to champion ourselves as the holders of Greatest Cubs Blogroll Ever (a competition we only hold against the great site, Bleacher Nation). I also try to keep up with the Cublogoverse and enjoy what I read for the most part. But there is one type of post which I absolutely despise: The Game Recap. It's almost as stupid as live blogging a rain delay.

Look, if someone has actually taken the time to search out your blog, you can probably assume at least one thing: they are a Cubs fan (and assuming they're internet savvy, they also like to masturbate...a lot). Now granted, not everyone can attend every game, watch it on TV (or the horrible MLB.tv) or listen to it on the radio. You might think you are giving these people that missed the last game some insight into how the game progressed, which players did good, which did bad, how the runs were scored, etc. etc. etc.

Fortunately for the common fan there is a whole medium that already does this. I'm talking about newspapers people. Not only do newspapers offer a Box Score, which shows all the pertinent data involved in the game, they also include stories written by professional writers who actually attended the game (In most cases). These guys actually get paid to do this! If you were so good at writing game recaps, you would be paid for it too.

So maybe you don't read the newspaper. Don't worry, I don't either, and neither did our last president. In fact, I hardly know how to read as it is. If you fall into this category, there is also this thing called the Internet, but you know that. You write on the Internet, just like me (if you can call this writing). Newspapers also publish on the Internet. In fact, you can even read articles from the opposing team's newspapers. Amazing. There is also this website called Cubs.com. They have a brilliant and informative writer named Carrie Muskat. Sometimes she will even personally answer your questions!

So please do me favor, skip the Game Recap. Write about something else instead. Maybe about something interested that happened during the game. Like let's say Marmol walked a batter. WOW, that never happens, write about that. Or maybe D-Lee hit another ball to the warning track. Or how about how much you miss Mark DeRosa or Jason Marquis. What I'm saying is people that are probably better at writing than you are filling me in on what happened in last's night game, and like millions of other fans, I'm probably going to read that instead. You have a blog, make it interesting, or funny or informative, but please don't make it redundant.

Okay, so you still aren't listening (reading?) to what I'm saying. If you MUST do a recap, please do something interesting with it. Come up with a "bit". Let's look at a few good examples:

Bleacher Nation: The Enhanced Box Score (sample here)
See what Ace does here? He doesn't write 6-10 boring paragraphs about the game. He gives you the Box Score and then highlights something interesting and writes a little comment about it. Simple, hilarious, and brilliant.

The Cubs in Haiku (sample here)
Another simple, but brilliant way of handling the game recap. Two or three haiku's (yes, those are poems) about the game, a flag, a record, and a link to the Box Score. This is actually one of my favorite sites, even if they don't link to COI.

CUBBlogging (sample here)
So Jen actually does everything I say you shouldn't do in a Game Recap (but she has had a personal experience with the Awesomest Person Alive). Fortunately, she does it with style. Specifically, she has a funny title, gives her own perspective on the game, writes sarcastic remarks, has interesting nicknames for the players, and includes her "White Knight of Wrigleyville" and hilarious forecast for the next game.

Cubby-Blue (sample here)
Okay, don't even attempt what Tim does. I don't want to see your crappy artwork. I have a Masters in Art and can't even draw a giraffe. Tim is a professional illustrationist, and even does drawings for Vine Line. His takes on the games are great in a dark humor sense of way, and his little recaps are personal accounts, which makes them interesting.

Thunder Matt's Saloon: The Gist (samples here)
These used to be pretty regular, although are now as random as me getting laid in high school (okay, I didn't get laid in HS). But when they do post, it's always short and hilarious, much like my new favorite show, The Little Couple.

So there you have it. If you don't write a blog, I recommend you check out these sites daily for all your Cubs Recap needs.

Go Cubs!


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