College of Idiots: Umps, Gatorade Pissing Off the Cubs

Illustration by the very talented Tim Souers at Cubby-Blue.

The list of umpires pissing off Cub pitchers is getting pretty long lately.

TRL just wanted to show Bob Davidson where the pool would be in his dream house during his palm reading.

In Monday's game, Ted Lilly exited (i.e. sprung like jaguar) the dugout to argue what he saw as "embarrassing" calls by umpire Bob Davidson. He was tossed after what Davidson claims was a "few expletives" and Lilly's questioning of his concentration.

Introducing the star of your new Aquafina commercial.

Today, Big Z was tossed after Nyjer Morgan scored on a close play at home, tying the game for the Pirates in the 7th. Z took the incident with a little less gentleman-ship by purposely shoving umpire Mark Carlson. He then tossed Carlson from the game, threw the ball to the warning track and his glove to the dugout fence and then took a bat repeatedly to the gatorade machine.

Z shows Mike Carlson the grip on throwing the pointy ball.

That gatorade machine has been pissing the Cubs off too, as it was just repaired from going 1 round with Dempster on Monday (in which the machine won). It wasn't so lucky this time around and the Cubs may have to go back to the traditional jugs instead of the fancy dispenser.

The awkward part is when you close your eyes to go in for kiss and you don't know if he's gonna kiss you back.

Along with Bradley's recent comments about umps, Paul "I heart COI" Sullivan is reporting that the Cubs front office is probably going to get a call soon about their recent behavior. Ironically, none of the ump bashing or yelling at has been handed out by Sweet Lou, who should be called Stoner Lou for his laissez-faire attitude towards recent events.

While the Cubs may quickly become the "Bad Boys" (Rosenthal style, not Michael Bay style) of baseball, I say whatever it takes to turn this team around. While TRL will most likely just get a fine from MLB, Z will definitely be looking at a 7-10 day suspension, which means a couple missed games.

Remember when you were all shouting for Lou to have a blow-up to turn this thing around? Well it looks like the team may have matters into their own hands. Hopefully this is just what the Cubs need to get back in gear.

BTW, welcome to the team Andy White and Jake Fox! Both got RBI doubles today, with Fox now hitting a league leading 1.000. Oh, and some guy named White Slice saved the day with another home run. Can you forgive me Reed?

Go Cubs!