GFY the mini, the slider, and the shooter.
Whatever you call it, miniature hamburgers are sweeping the nation. I even got Billy Mays screaming at me for 30 minutes to buy his special griddle to cook them myself. But why would I do that when I can go to virtually any bar and get these bite-sized apps myself. Or a fast food chain*, or a casual sit down chain**, or if I'm really feeling indulgent, I'll go to a fancy restaurant and order one made of Kobe beef and topped with truffles and imported goat cheese for only $30. Fuck!
One of the greatest things about growing up is when my family would make the 60 mile trek to Chicago to visit my grandparents or other relatives, we would always stop at a White Castle and get a bunch of slyders so that we could keep them in the fridge and reheat them throughout the week. To my little kid taste buds, slyders actually disgusting. I wanted McDonald's damn it. White Castle didn't have a kid's meal. And that smell!
But as I grew up and started to head into Chicago on my own for concerts, trips to downtown and of course Wrigley Field, the tradition I grew up with continued, and I actually started liking those little shitty burgers. I would always stop on the way home and grab a 10 pack, some for me, some for my mom, and none for my GF, who insisted they travel in the trunk because the smell would make her throw up.
Then the novelty wore off. In college they came out with White Castles in your freezer section and my dorm "store" sold them. Let's just say enough nights indulging in "herbal remedies" leads to a lot of shitty microwave food eating, including those little buggers and I got sick of em. Then after college I moved closer to the City and I had a White Castle next door. I would still go once in a while, but by that time I was only getting the Chicken or Fish Sandwiches.
And the other thing is, when I would mention White Castle, everyone universally hates it. But now the mini burger is back. I got big headed Mascots screaming at me. I got specialty turkey versions, pulled pork versions, even crab cake versions.
Fuck, don't you people realize youre being ripped off. Sure it looks like a better deal, but you're really only getting like half the beef and twice the bun. Remember the "Where's the Beef?" commercials? EXACTLY! The whole result of the craze is that these company's have found they can cut costs, and make you feel like your King of the Hill with all your burgers that have girls drooling all over you.
Damn you to hell mini burgers. Give me my White Castle's (or Krystal's if your in the South). Actually, fuck you both. I'll stick with my In and Out Burgers. Pigs will fly before they stoop that low.
*Fast Food:
• Burger King - BK Burger Shots come in packs of two ($1.39) or six ($4.09).
The chain also is selling BK Breakfast Shots and is considering mini chicken sandwiches.
• Jack in the Box. It has Mini Sirloin Burgers in three-packs ($3.89).
• McDonald's. Mickey D's is testing Snack Wrap Macs, mini Big Macs in flour tortillas ($1.49), at 400 restaurants.
• Steak and Shake. Steakburger Shooters come in 5 different varieties including the classic Ketchup & Mustard Shooter to the spicy Chipotle Shooter.
• Johnny Rockets. Along with mini hot dogs and chili dogs, these sliders come with a choice of four new Johnny Rockets sauces; ancho-chipotle with a smoky pepper flavor, sweet pepper relish mayo, dijonnaise sauce with a hint of horseradish and chunky bleu cheese sauce.
**Casual Dining:
• Chili's. Big Mouth Bites are four mini burgers topped with applewood smoked bacon, american cheese, sautéed onions and ranch dressing on sesame seed buns. Served with crispy onion strings and jalapeño-ranch dressing.
• TGI Friday's. Jack Cheddar Bacon BBQ Sliders are made with Jack Championship BBQ sauce. They also offer chicken sliders.
• Applebee's. Along with their cheeseburgers Sliders, they offer BBQ Pulled Pork, Southern Chicken and French Dip Versions.
• Ruby Tuesday . You can get a trio plate of Ruby Minis, Turkey Minis and Crab Cake Minis along a Bacon Cheddar version.
• Cheesecake Factory. Served four to an order and come with pickle chips.
• Bennigan's. Four seems to be the number to go with for these burgers.
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1 comments:
You're a voice of reason screaming in the wilderness. Anyone who's out of high school and past the college "herbal substance years" and still eating White Castle should reconsider how they're living life.
People seem to love these things though. Last weekend I found myself at a friends Dave n Busters party(why?) and eating one of these things. For $9 you get 4 miniature burgers that just make you want to order more. Which we did. Suddenly you've spent $20 on 1/2 pound burger split four ways and still no one is satisfied. Rip Off!
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