COI Outing #5 and I Go Off On Mr. Dolan (Sorry Andy)

I had to bring this artist rendering back from last year. It's my best work to date.

COI outing #5 this past Sunday was another blast (Sorry no pics). Despite the parking direction guys (read: old dudes that hate young people) we were able to park in our usual space and setup the cornhole and get a couple games in. The second game ended in something like 42-40, which for those not scoring at home, cornhole ends with the first team to 21, but you have to win by 2 points. For treats we enjoyed pork tenderloin sandwiches, grilled vegetables and a D-Town favorite, corn on the cob. In attendance was a smaller crowd than last week with KWil bitching out, leaving only the Idiots, my GF and Jeff.

The game itself was pretty good, with Big Z pitching 6 lights-out innings, giving up only one run on a lucky homer and continuing his hitting prowess by ringing a double and scoring later in the inning. Even when Big Z hit a slow roller his first time at the plate for a routine out, he still legged it out like the WS depended on it. The Cubs won the game, the first we have seen since Opening Day, and seem to be getting into the swing of things before the real Opening Day. Derrek Lee even got into the act.

The GF and I sat in right field and we were able to catch most of the game, probably more than I have the entire 4 previous outings combined. I keep trying to teach the GF the rules, positions, strategies and such, and she is slowly catching on. Questions like, "What is the time limit per period in baseball?" and "Why are they all running off the field?" remind me that when I have a kid, son or daughter, they will know everything about baseball and the Cubs, including what a wheel play is, the infield fly rule, and why the Cubs are the greatest team in all of sports.

Perusing my Google Reader today, I noticed that Andy Dolan over at Desipio wrote an open letter to (supposed) new Cubs owner, Tom Ricketts. I love Desipio and it's by far the most well written and humorous Cubs blogs out there. But why is it that Andy and his love-mate Bad Kermit over at HJE keep ragging on everything that is traditional and unique about the Cubs and their fans. I get it, you hate 99% of Cub fans. You are smartest person alive and every Cub fan should act EXACTLY how you want them to. I am just peon and because I enjoy an Old Style and like the seventh inning stretch, I am not a "real" Cub fan.

Normally I wouldn't rag on individual blog postings, or call anybody out. I already learned my lesson from my short rants about Cub blogs (or did I?!?). But seriously, I'm tired reading (and listening to on The Other 15% Podcast) the same points about why the Cubs, Wrigley and their fans suck.

Yes, the seventh inning stretch is pretty stupid, but believe it or not people liked Harry and there is actually a group of people who never remember him, and this is all they have.

Ronnie Woo Woo is annoying, unfortunately he is entertaining to drunks, as I have seen in person during the tailgating in AZ. If he wasn't pleasing those drunk bastards, they would probably be spilling their Old Styles and jello shots on your wine and cheese party with citronella candles and rose petals.

For us fans who don't live in the greater Chicago area (yes, not everyone is as masochistic as those of you who continue to live there) and are "too cheap" (we all don't make 6 figures) to subscribe to MLB Extra Innings, WGN is our only source of watching Cubs games on television (God bless MLB.tv). Just because you can't watch your precious games in HD doesn't mean no one else is willing to watch it. I would watch it on a black-and-white in fuzzy-visioin holding rabbit ears to get the reception if I had too. That's how much I enjoy watching the Cubs.

We get it, Ron is old, senile and fucks up a lot. At least he's not Joe Morgan who just makes shit up. What, you want Marty or Thom (nice name dick-hole) Brennaman calling the games? You know who else was old and senile? Mr. Harry Caray! Just because you've got like 5 Podcasts under your belt doesn't mean you're the expert on radio broadcasting.

Just to prove I'm not all piss and vinegar, I bring you a Cub Cutie.

Guess what, Wrigley Field is old ballpark, and looks like it. And that's what I, and I would assume a few others, like about it. After being to my local ballpark (Chase or the BOB, or whatever it is this year) I fucking hate new parks with all their bells and whistles. The last thing Wrigley needs is a jumbotron telling the fans when and how to cheer. I fucking hate the "Kiss Cam" and shoddy instant replays. Yes, it's nice having a sushi stand at the park, but I still prefer a freshly-steamed, tightly-wrapped, water-logged-bun hot dog with mustard and neon-green relish out of a tiny, impossible to open package any day.

Oh, and the Cubs did the lose the blue jersey's. If you remember, Big Z made them bring them back. I would love to see you tell him face-to-face how stupid they are.

Okay, I'm done with the rants. Again, I respect and love Desipio.com. It's one, if not the best Cub blog out there, but sometimes I don't know if Andy is just being sarcastic, or just the most pompous asshole Cub fan out there. I hope it's the former.

COI outing (final?) this Thursday night. Oh, and Angry Mike promised to start blogging again soon. This is good news for all that are tired of my insistent ramblings.

Go Cubs!


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