Get Jim Hendry to sign whoever threw that bottle. Velocity, accuracy, timing. He's got everything. As long as he can pass the "towel toss" from the mound test.
Bear Down!
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COI Video of the Moment: Introducing your new Cubs pitcher
Miscues that cost the Cubs a chance at history
- Too much rest - This one goes on Lou. I totally understand resting guys but this is the second season in a row that he rested the keys contributors and got burned. Hopefully he will learn. Guys like Soriano, Ramirez, and Soto need consistent playing time to stay on their game in the batter's box. They didn't show up against the Dbacks and the Dodgers and I believe it was because they lost their sense of urgency.
- Too much Theriot - Don't get me wrong....I like the guy. His patience makes him a huge pain to the opposing pitcher....but. The problem is he has too many physical difficiencies. He doesn't throw like a SS. He is too short. He hits for no power. He gets thrown out stealing too much. I use the word too a lot...
- The K-Fuk experiment - Another guy I like. The problem is he lost his confidence and never recovered. That seems to be a theme with the Japanese players. Some come over and exude confidence and some look like a deer in headlights. Unfortunately, outside the early season excellence (luck?) he showed, we mostly got the latter.
- Letting the Brewers off the hook - This one goes hand in hand with number 1. Had the Cubs crushed the life out of the Brewers in the season's final series they would have faced the hapless Mets in the first round. You know, the Mets whose only good starting pitcher is a lefty. The Mets who lost 4 out of 6 to the Cubs and only got 2 wins because of reason number 1. Yeah, they may have lost to the Mets but personally I was rooting for the Cubs to face them on the season's final day. Guess it was a preminition.
Well, that's all I have. Yep, didn't mention a curse. Curses are excuses that stupid fans, who have no idea what is going on with their favorite team and the games they play, use to explain things. I reach for tangible reasons. I think the ones I listed above make add up to the early exit.
On that note how bout that Bears game? To think I got up at 6:30am (Hawaiian time) to watch. 2.5 hours of terrible Bears football, followed by 0.49 hours of great Bears football, followed by 0.01 hours of nutcrunching football. Hey, at least they are still in first!
GO BEARS!
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Your Idiots of the Week
Still feel like this guy? Did anyone else miss HJE's "Sweet Uncle Lou's Friday Roundup" today? I know I did, even though COI never made it to the list. I guess we're just not on Lou's radar.
So maybe I will try to do this every week. Kinda like a wrap-up, but not really. And this one sucks*:
COI Idiot of the Week:

Adam "Don't call me Pacman or I will sucker-punch you in the back of the head while you are peeing like I did my bodyguard" Jones. Yeah, I think the nickname says it all.
COI Hero of the Week:

Jim Hendry. Yeah, he's an asshole and an Idiot. But he picked up the option on Harden for next year and didn't let him get away like C.C. is going to from Milwaukee. I heard C.C. ate all the cheese anyways.
COI "Is it time to Panic?" of the Week:

Wallstreet. I've already hidden my life savings in the backyard. I hope I can find that $0.93 when I really need it.
Well that's it kiddies. I told you it sucked.
Bear Down!
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This Post Has No Original or Funny Title
Angry Mike, Ginger Russ (Drunk Rusty) and Lazy Steve. This scene will be repeated in March of 2009, come join in the Idiotic revelry.I'm not going to lie, the Cubs early exit is still effecting (or is it affecting?) me. Despite my last post, I haven't gotten over it yet. It's hard to let go. I tried to watch a some of the NLCS tonight, but couldn't bear it. On top of it, everyone at work is still giving me condolences about the Cubs. They know I'm a Cubs fan, but they don't really know how much. They don't know about this blog. They don't know I listened or watched every game this year. On top of it, I watched the Daily Show and the Colbert Report last night and they were still making fun of Cubs fans. Stupid they say. Well, yeah, maybe it's true.
So instead of watching Game 1 of the Cubs vs. Phillies tonight, I ended up cleaning the fridge (and I mean cleaning, it's been like 2-1/2 years) and watching Survivor. I hate Survivor. It's depressing. I cope by cleaning. What else can I clean? Need a maid? I'm your man.
I just keep telling myself, and everyone else that the baseball season is over. It's Bears season now. Notre Dame season too.
So, the blog will go on. Although as other Cubs blogs, less enthusiastic. I listened to "The Other 15 Percent", the Desipio and Hire Jim Essian blogcast today. Again depressing. But we have hope, I guess. We picked up the option on Harden, which although he has a glass arm, is a great move at the price. I will be interested to see if the Cubs resign Dempster. Despite falling apart in Game 1, he pitched awesome this year and I think he has a couple more good years of starting ahead of him before he heads to the killing fields. Yankees stealing him away? I wouldn't doubt it, they heart Canadians.
Everyone is going off about Soriano and Lee. Fucking keep em. They were a large part of making it to the playoffs. Sure, DP (double play) Lee was hard to watch during the season, and he's getting old, but the Hoff isn't ready yet and we aint got any better at first. And Soriano, don't eat his contract, unless you think DeRo or Pie is a better fit in left. Brian Roberts anyone (where did that come from?).
The only real worry is K-Fuk. What a bust. Once the scouts figured him out, he was worthless. But he was still a rookie. Sure, he's no Ichiro, but he can still learn and adjust. I still credit him with getting this team some patience and walks throughout the year. And he can play D.
Others? Am i really going to say that I want Edmonds back? I want him back. I think I'm going to go cut my wrists now on that sentence.
C.C? Fo-get-bout-it!
Well now I'm just rambling.
Spring training can't come soon enough. Which, COI is your official "headquarters" for Spring Training. Hey, we live in Phoenix. We will be out for all weekend and some day games if any of you 5 readers want to come and see what true Idiots we are. At least we bring good beer, food, and a challenge in washers (if you don't know this game, wikipedia that shit). Feel free to hit us up.
So changes to come, a new layout to the site. Maybe we can talk J-dot into being a regular poster. Who knows? At least Bears season is here.
Bear Down!
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I am not going to forget this
Well it looks like the players are already moving on.
I want to make one thing clear. I am moving on, but I am not over it and I won't forget this. I witnessed the most dominant Cubs season in my lifetime this year but this ending in unforgiveable. The best way to deal with this type of disappointment is to reflect and discuss how things went down so I am not going to think twice about doing so. I plan to continue blogging regularly about the Cubs, Bears, Boilers, and whatever else I want.
I will begin examining the ways I think the team can get better in the next few weeks while hanging in Hawaii. When the new year comes I will begin planning the Spring Training schedule for the Idiots (assuming I don't get stuck in the field again for work).
One thing I am not going to do is forget this and pretend everything is OK. Everything is no OK with this team. As it is currently constructed and presented to us on the field it is not going to win a playoff series. Let me be more specific. This lineup will continue to cost us in the playoffs. Yes, I am looking at you Soriano. You too Ramirez. Lee, Soto, Edmonds, you are to blame as well.
The first change that needs to happen is removing Soriano from the leadoff position. He is a talented hitter but he is too streaky and too susceptable to off speed pitches out of the zone. Theriot needs to lead off and Lee needs to be moved to the 2-hole because lets face it, he is not a big RBI threat. He does well getting innings started, unfortunately with 2 outs in the playoffs. Ramirez can move up to 3 and move Soriano to 4th with Soto/DeRosa fifth. Oh, have I mentioned I don't give a shit about righty lefty matchups? Although he had a nice season for us Edmonds needs to go and Reed needs to be resigned. Fukudome needs therapy bigtime but I think he can be an impact 7/8 hitter. No new players in there....yeah I know. I have the feeling a trade will happen before Spring. I think Hendry still feels he needs a lefty bat. He may have the best option in Iowa. I hope they really try to get the Hoff tons of outfield practice....
OK, I am rambling. I am tired of trying to be logical. If the Cubs organization isn't going to be logical neither will I. I will simply turn my attention to a good Bears team. I won't forget this though. Hopefully next time I tell the other Idiots not to speak of playoffs and World Series appearances prematurely they will listen.
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It's Just A Game

It's just a game... It’s just a game... It’s just a game.
These are the four words I repeated to myself while in vodka-induced trance about a thousand times last night at the end of the Cub's game massacre. It helped me to control myself from gathering every piece of Cub paraphernalia I own into pile, dousing it with lighter fluid and having my own little bonfire/funeral pyre/effigy.
Ironically, today I feel much better, almost calm about the situation. All my anger and hatred is gone. I take back denouncing the Cubs and claiming allegiance to the White Sox. It’s just a game. Next year will bring the Cubs to Mesa again and we can start it all over.
It was a good year. 97 wins. As a Cub fan in my (ugh) 30’s I have seen plenty of seasons where the Cubs didn’t even make it to the playoffs. I have seen seasons of being the laughing stock of the NL East/Central. I have seen more losing seasons than winning ones.
So should have history taught me not to expect anything more than a sweep in the first round? Probably. But I am a Cubs fan. Always (well almost) optimistic. I root for my Cubbies through thick and thin, which is usually more thin than thick. But as a Cub fan you always have that nagging voice in your head telling you are being foolish to expect more. It’s a curse they tell us. Billy goats, black cats, Bartman's.
Well, I don’t believe in curses. I don’t believe in destiny. It was such an almost perfect situation: 100 years of losing. A century of pain. It was to all be washed away with a World Series win. It’s gonna happen the signs said.
Most times this year, the Cubs looked unstoppable. Even when the Cubs were down, we saw them comeback. I saw the first Cubs no-no in my lifetime. We clinched the division and home field advantage with a week of baseball still left to play. Was it too much? Too good to be true? Unfortunately yes, it was.
I have no blame for the players or Sweet Lou. Sure Dempster didn’t have to walk everybody. Maybe K-Fuk shouldn’t be playing. How does the entire infield commit an error in one game? And the last time I checked, you have to actually score runs to win a game.
The Cubs have what I believe will be their last game of the year this weekend. So far we have looked like the sixteen year old who is about to pop his cherry on prom night. We’re at the big show, but now we have no idea what to do and are too nervous to do so even if we did. So let’s go out and have fun. Take heed of J dot’s advice: enjoy it. Show the fans the excitement you showed them all year. Gone is the pressure of the "fans" in Wrigley. We play in LA now, in front of movie stars and beautiful people that could care less about the game.
Can the Cubs come back? It’s not inconceivable. The White Sox won 3 "elimination" games to get into the playoffs. The Red Sox came back from 3 games down to the Yankees in 2004 and went on to win their first Championship in 86 years. In 1985 the Royals came back from a 3-1 game deficit against the Blue Jays and went on to win their only ring. The Cubs have won 3 games in a row 18 times this year. So is it impossible? No. Improbable? Yes. But remember whatever happens...
It’s just a game.
Go Cubs!
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Let's call this what it is...
...a classic choke to this point. This has nothing to do with a curse. Every member of this team is choking with the exception of Zambrano and those who haven't played with pressure on.
Recap - 2nd inning. DeRosa and Lee, you officially became chokers tonight. Last night was on Dempster but tonight you two helped seal the Cubs fate before you made the 4th out. Theriot isn't off the hook because his bare handed attempt was dumb as shit but you two could have picked up the pieces and you did the polar opposite.
Lou - Fukudome has to be sit down. You are a great manager but come on. He struck out 3 more times. You love vets but Fontenot deserves playing time. Oh, and maybe think about hitting Lee 2nd next season, you know, the perfect place for a light hitting guy who gets on base at a decent pace and tends to put the ball in play when you should be sending the runner.
I am going to be heading to Chicago to visit family this weekend before I head to Hawaii for work next week. You will hear nothing from me. The Cubs could lose game 3 and the Cubs could possibly force a game 5 on Tuesday. Either way you will hear nothing from me. They will get my attention during the games and that is it. If they lose I will move on to the Bears and this blog will be slow for quite some time. If nothing else it will be silent therapy for me. I can't continue to get upset about a GAME....yes a game.....that I have no control over. I'll leave that kind of stupid shit to the Red Sox fans of the world. I have too many other important things going on to worry about.
Good luck Cubs....I haven't given up....maybe you guys can play like you haven't once....maybe twice....this weekend....
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Zambrano, My Liver and You.
Showed up to the bar a tad early today (530PM CST) and got the pleasure of watching CC "3 Days Rest" Sabathia give up a grand slam. Nice. The Ghost of Yost (patent pending) rears its ugly head again! Now all I have to do is "manage" my alcohol intake for the next 2 hours until game time. I don't like my chances.
In the meantime, I have some burning questions about tonight's donnybrook.
1) Which Carlos will show up tonight?
As long as he doesn't try to gnaw on the rubber, I'm think we'll get good Carlos
2) Will the fans at Wrigley at least pretend to care?
Bars open at 11AM. Game is at 830PM. I'm just praying at least half are conscious.
3) Will D-Lee hit into ANOTHER double play.
Yes.
4) Can Soriano take a pitch?
If it's a slider away...all signs point to no.
5) What is the over/under of how many times my wife will refer to DeRo as "hot."
72. Take the over, trust me.
6) If the Cub's postseason was a TV show, what show would it be?
Right now, the new 90210. Lots of hype, very poor results.
7) What would make you more confident about the Cubs chances?
If they suddenly made this a seven game series.
There you go. BTW, the angel on one shoulder tells me Z is gonna pitch a gem tonight. The devil on the other shoulder is giggling. That can't be good, right?
Go Cubs.
PS. I'm gonna twitter the game tonight. I'm not sure what that means, but I can say with complete confidence that it won't be at all funny. Click here at your own risk.
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Great start guys!
No, I am not panicking. What I am doing is voicing my frustration with all the SHIT I saw in game one tonight.
First, Dempster. WTF MAN! All you had to do with this team is throw strikes. I can see that proved to be too much to handle. Mr. Clutch in Wrigley proved to be anything but and now Lou looks like an ass for starting him in game one.
Second, the lineup besides DeRosa and Fontenot. Do you guys have a pulse? You let the Dodgers impersonate you tonight.
Third, the crowd. Would you all stop acting like you paid $300 a pop for tix even though you did. I had to listen to the asshole announcers talk about how quiet it was in Wrigley all game long today. OK, until I decided to stop watching in the 9th. Heres to hoping tomorrow's crowd isn't a bunch of stiff like you jerks.
Fourth, and finally, Lou. Fukudome second? Really? Come on man. I saved Lou for last because he learns quick and I expect this mistake not to be repeated soon. I don't mind having Kosuke in the game for his defense but he clearly has things to work on in the off season. I am guessing we are going to see DeRosa in RF tomorrow with Fontenot at 2B and possibly batting 2nd.
Other than that things went great. Keep up the great work guys!
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