No More Roadies

So I don't think we should let Dempster pitch on the road. Ever. Even if it is technically in the same city as home. I say technically because it's the south side. And although I don't really have anything against the south side, other than the Chi Sox of course, it's practically a different city. Might as well be an annex of Detroit. Or Rockford. Ok, he's going to win on the road eventually, and obviously we need him to, and soon! Only three losses on the road, which isn't that bad. But there were a few more no decisions. Geeze.

Here's a picture of Sweet Lou after he used some paint and white out to show his true feelings. He was caught praying that he'd get out of this park without becoming addicted to meth. ANd no, I'm not trying to advertise for some website that's just trying to sell a website with a not so clever name. I'm just trying to show what I really think of the Sox. Sure, they're still in first, but for how long? There's a good chance they won't be in first after tomorrow's games. But then again, it's a good day when the Cubs win, no matter what happens to the Sox. It just so happens that this weekend the Sox have to lose in order for the day to be a good one.


And I can't even begin to write about this next picture. It's just too easy. How about we run a little contest here. Everybody add a comment with your best caption, and you'll win a date with Tad Hamilton. Ok, not sure where that reference came from. But seriously. Let's see some captions!

Go Cubs!!!
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I'm at lost for words...

No recap needed for today's game. Instead, I bring what I will become in about 4 hours when I get home from work and hit the Smirnoff extra hard.



Go Cubs?
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Cubs v. Sox...the get me the hell off this island edition

Well I am listening to the game. 8-2...kinda shitty. I'll continue to listen though. Crazier shit has happened.

I just wanted to touch on a couple things I saw recently:

Looks like Benson will have an iginition-lock on his car for the forseeable future. Wow....dumbass.

In other NFL news, Adam "Pacman" Jones doesn't want to be called Pacman anymore. Tough shit Pacman.

Back to the Cubs. Our own personal Moonlight Graham is attempting a comeback with the Angels. There is no way this guy can actually make it back to the bigs is there? That would be such a waste. DON'T DO IT MOONLIGHT!

Oh, the jackasses from that show My Boys went back to Wrigley. Seriously, how can that show still be on television?

Well I wondered off for a few hours to get some last second gift buying done and it looks like the Sox finished off the job. Good for them. Here's to KC and Minnesota getting the job done later!

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COI Thought of the Moment

Is anyone else as tired of D Lee hitting into double plays as I am?

Update #1:

This is the actual headline from Cubs.com, the official site for the Cubs:
"Cubs look for Gallagher to end slump"

So what alternate universe have I landed in when the Cubs are hoping that Sean Gallagher is our savior? Is Homer's "Jebus" my savior too? Next thing you know we will be sending Hank White to the plate with the bases loaded to try to win the game. What? Sweet Lou did that already? I don't know what you are talking about. Sean Gallagher, I love your quirky-watermelon smashing-rockin stash wearing-big couch bouncing on brother. But you sir. You are not our savior.
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WTF is going on here?

Today's game sucked. I actually listened to the entire, just to punish myself for being a Cubs fan and thinking we're going to win every game. Probably all that WS talk. No more, I say. No more...well at least till after the All Star Break.

In Cubs news, the injuries just keep piling on. It's official, our entire regular outfield is on the DL or not playing because of injuries. K-Fuk has missed 2 games now. Both his and Reed's injuries are loosely being blamed by playing on turf. Now, I may be wrong here, but didn't Reed play on turf all the time in Canadia? And I hear that many Japanese ballparks are turf. So why is that these guys get injured after playing on it? Damn you turf.

In non-turf related injuries, Scott Eyre had to leave today's game with a groin injury. Whatever.

Good news on the horizon though. Big Z threw off flat ground and is scheduled for a bullpen session on Sunday. He was quoted as saying he definitely wants to play in the All Star Game and give the National League a chance for home-field advantage in case that "thing" happens in which I previously mentioned that I won't mention. And Soriano feels good and hopefully won't miss a step after he returns from his second stint on the DL this year.

Next up, Round 2 of the Windy City Classic. I hear that Ozzie has imported some NY sewer rats to be placed in the Cubs locker room. Really classy Ozzie, really classy. Hey guess what Ozzie, Lou is coaching in the All-Star Game. Ha! Who's the better manager now? Hopefully the Cubs can make history by being the first team to sweep on both the North Side and the South Side. Just look out for all those used Meth needles laying around.

Cubs-Sox, poker, picnics, my parents in town and much drinking this weekend. Wait, still one more day to go? God Damn It!

Oh, and I updated the Blogroll on the side panel. I "rated" each blog according to updates, accuracy, hilarity, and if they included links to our site in their own blog lists (which if you have and aren't at least in the Triple-A group, send us an email and I will bump you up). If you have the time, check out some of these other blogs, or not, because then you will realize that our site is pitiful. Well, all 3 of our readers will anyways.


BTW, the valley is on fire. I went outside to smoke and I thought it was snowing, but it was ash falling from the sky. Never had that in the midwest.

Go Cubs!
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Raise the "W" Flag

Cubs win! A solid game. Especially after that debacle yesterday. Lassie goes yard again, Soto pads the ribbies with 3 more, and Ted Lilly. Good pitching, although a little sketchy at times. Granted, Payton scored all those runs for the Orange-Birds. As Lazy Steve pointed out, it's hard for anyone named Payton to perform badly in Chicago. Fortunately, Kid K mowed him down and made him look STUPID in the ninth. And a couple people are claiming that the Marmot is back. I don't know yet. Give me one more outing where he doesn't walk 2 or more, and I'll agree. I wish I wasn't so worried about him and Big Z. It's not like the Cubs front office has a reputation for dumbing-down injuries to the media. No. Never. What's the Mark Prior?

Anyways, what I was getting to. TRL made sure to help his cause be getting 2 hits tonight. Granted Cubs pitchers are no stranger to the batter's box, but 2 hits in one game is an all-time high for Lilly.

Plus Ramirez continues to rip the crap out of the ball, DP Lee still lives up to his name, Fonte-NOT gets his 9th double (when did he hit the other 8 exactly?) and the Riot continues to increase his +.310 average with a couple hits, which is actually the best on the Cubs.

Most underrated Cubs this year:

The Riot
Dumpster

Where's that story ESPN?

Go Cubs!
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I thought they played "Go, Cubs, Go" after every game.

This bat was stuck WAY to far up my ass. No wonder I just struck out.

It was close. Probably closer than it should have been. The "other" Sean started today because Big Z is on the DL with an injury that doesn't even involve bananas. Not a pretty outing, or so it seemed listening to the game. I left work at 7 (AZ time) with the score at 6-1 Orange-Birds. But by the time I made it home the Cubs were rallying in the eight inning.


MF-ing Lassie. I think the whole COI can agree that if their is a silver lining to every cloud, the fact that Edmonds on the Cubs AND playing so well is TOTALLY pissing off Card fans is awesome. And perfect payback. Lassie always seemed kill us, although HJE has yet to include him in the the "The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time" list. But for the Cubs he is hitting .299/.353/.558 and has 4 home runs, including 2 in one inning on Saturday. I'm not saying I'm going to "Crown His Ass", or even pretend I like him, but keep this up, and you might just end up on the Dempster list, "People I dislike, but don't hate because they help they Cubs win".


So on the Cubs merry-go-round of semi-decent players, a lot of changes recently. Daryle "Montgomery" Ward is off the DL! As much as I love Hoffpauir, D-Wad can at least field the outfield and play first. Speaking of the Hoff, he was moved back down to Iowa, despite batting .400 (14-for-35) with eight runs in 18 games, including five multi-hit affairs. Okay, it's only a little man-crush. At least Thunder Matt is still around. And just in time to strike out with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth to kill the rally in the 8th inning. Plus now 2/3 of our outfield is on the DL, with Reed joining because of aches resulting from his back surgery last year.

God this team is hurting. It will be an interesting July fo-sho.

In other notes, it was told to me that the guest conductor of the seventh inning stretch, Julianne Hough, is hot. As much as I hate to post pictures of hot chicks, I had to look it up for myself, you know, for journalistic integrity.

Dude, that guy stole Reed Johnson's sole patch!

But don't get to excited. She's Mormon. And "saving" herself.

In an interview with CosmoGirl magazine, she shared her views about abstinence from sex until marriage: "Yes, I want to be with that special person. I think the decision to have sex before marriage is an individual one, but if you're just with one person, it's only for one good reason, and [waiting to have sex] will strengthen the relationship." ^[11]

In case it wasn't obvious, the A-team is awesome E-Ramis is the "COI Hero of the Moment." I will get the graphic back up shortly.

Well, tomorrow will be a better day. I have to go to work early, so I will be catching a rare weekday Cubs game on tv. I hope the beer is tasty at First Round Drafts.

Go Cubs!
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RIP George Carlin

And so we bring you the classic Baseball vs. Footbal by George Carlin.



A deserved thanks to HJE for being the first to the punch.
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Focus People

The Cubs swept the White Sox. More importantly, we have moved 4.5 games ahead of the Cards. Evidently Vazquez wasn't intimidated by the Cubs lineup. He had a funny way of showing it (5 walks in 6 innings). Blah blah blah....more hot wind coming from the ugly step children. It is truly sad that the members of the White Sox have the same inferiority complex their fans have.

Lets take a moment to take a look at the race in the NL central. The Cards have fallen back to 4.5 games back which is good. The Brewers have reduced their deficit to 6.5 games which kind of sucks. I said that team would make a comeback. I still believe they will finish second to the Cubs with the Cards being third. What I don't believe is that they will be in contention when the last week of the season comes around. Why? Take a look at their X W-L. That stat is based of runs scored and runs allowed. Now I understand you only have to win by one but in the long haul you are not going to be successful. They have given up more than they have scored. End of discussion. I used the same logic when I poo poo'ed the 2007 Dbacks. Yeah they took the Cubs out in the post season....because the Cubs bats fell asleep. Then they promptly got dispatched by another hot team. I don't want to dwell on that though. The point is that neither the Cards or the Brewers are in the Cubs league...even with Soriano out. Thankfully we still have plenty of chances to prove that head to head. Some people would have you believe the Cubs will come back to the pack because they have to play more road games than home games the rest of the way. Yeah, a whopping 4 more. Laugh.

Also, still not talking World Series, unlike some overzealous bloggers on this site.



In other news. Big Tommie Harris received an extension from the Bears. He described the discussions as classy. Wow, a contract negotiations involving the McCaskey's was classy. Angelo is really earning that paycheck.

Tomorrow is a day of rest (for the Cubs....not me) then we welcome the Orioles to town. I'm sure Brian Roberts will enjoy the ass kicking his would have been team is going to dish out. I (hopefully) make my return to Arizona next weekend in time for some poker, fish grilling, and more Cubs v Sox.
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White Sux

At least the South-Siders have meth and crack to heal their pain.

Lazy Steve said the name of this blog entry should be "White Sux". Yeah, fucking cheesy (like Wisconsin Cheddar Curds cheesy) I know. But it pretty much sums it all up. It's good to come off the crap-tacular series with the Rays and sweep the South-siders. Plus I worked extra and got a pair of tickets 15 rows back from the field for the Cubs-Dbags series. Life is back to norml again. The day off will be appreciated by the players, but I will be bored. Maybe I will replay Saturday's game, and then Fridays, possibly followed up by tonights.

I hope our A.D.H.D. fans and blogs can step away from that ledge now. This series sweep is sweet. And don't even play it off like it's not. Both teams in first place, and it could be an actually possible WS preview*. The best rivalry out there. It's better than Mets-Yankees, even better than Yankees-Red Sox...and possibly better than Bears-Packers.

Go Cubs, Go! We ARE the BEST team in Chicago. GFY South Side!

Oh, and it's been a while since we've (well...I've) posted a hot Cubs fan. Apparently Cubs fans arent good at taking photos, so I leave you with Jessica Simpson Marissa Miller in Cubs jersey. Kinda makes you confused right? She's hot. But also a complete douche. Conflicting. A little like cheering for the 2 dingers by Lassie yesterday.

Jessica Marissa can fill out a Cubs jersey like no other. Got Milk?

Side Question: When Jimmy "Lassie" Edmonds hits a home run and I get excited, it kinda makes me feel like if you catch a glance of your hot, 20 year-old cousin in a bikini and get a little bit of a chub. Yes, you know it's know wrong, but it still puts a smile on your face. Fucking conflicted emotions. Did I cross the line there? I hope so. Too much to think about. But hey, as long as we keep winning...

Go Cubs!

*again, too early to discuss World Series. I am truly sorry...or not. GFY!
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Can I possibly hate the Red Sox more than the Cards?

I'm a God-damn fucking certifiable Idiot, how do I keep winning?

So I'm waiting for the Cubs to play tonight. I'm watching the Bo-Sox vs. Cards game on TBS (yeah, TBS, I don't know why either). It's the 13th inning. For the past 4, YES, 4 innings the Bo-Sox have had the lead-off hitter on base. And 3 of those guys hit doubles and were on second.

Okay, I'm not a baseball manager, and know little about the game, but I KNOW that when you need only 1 run to win the game, and you have no (0, zip, zilch, none) outs with a runner on 2nd base, you bunt his ass over to third. Really, I'm not that stupid. Bunt that mother-fucker over. Get a fly-ball. Game over. So instead the batter hits away into an infield ground-ball and gets the lead runner out at 3rd. Rest of the inning a waste.

So the Cards are up to bat. First batter out. And then Franco takes out his pitcher that just retired the last 4 batters he faced. Yeah, take out your pitcher that has proven he is pitching well (fucking Isringhouse-my-name-is-too-fucking-long-en). And what does the next pitcher do? Gives up a double and single. Thank God JD Drew can actually throw accurately, cause otherwise this game would be over.

Honestly, at this point I'm hoping the Cards win. GFY! I hate the Red-birds as much as you, but I hate stupid managing (yes Dusty, I'm looking at you) even more. How the fuck did Tony get two rings...oh yeah, his players are awesome and don't listen to him. Wish we could have figured that out in 03.

So yeah, the game is over. Boston hit a walk-off homer in the 13th. I don't know which MF did it. I don't care. The Cards finally drop a game and hopefully we can can gain a game in the standings.. Now if only the Rays could have been as bad when they played as they are now playing Houston, we wouldn't be so close in the standings. Still.

I hope maybe we can play the Bo-Sox in the Series, just to kick their jingoistic asses all over the place. I fucking hate Boston lately. Fucking Patriots and all their cheating, fucking Bo-Sox getting lucky to play the hapless Rockies last year. And don't even get me started on the Celtics, greatest team ever right? GYI, four letter sports channel. Are we already forgetting about a certain Chicago team that won 6 rings? And yeah, Kobe, you are and never will be close to M.J. Not even a second brother to Pippen.

This apparently is what it seems. So what does it seem like...yeah Sox fans, he didn't pay for it.

So Cards lose. YEAH. Cubs in about an hour. Let's sweep those South Side Yahtzees and their homosexual-meth-loving-steriod-attitude fans (besides my Mom, and her friends).

Go Cubs!
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How NOT to be a Real Cubs Fan

So in an effort to NOT miss the Cubs win the game today, AND get a tasty sandwich at the sandwich shop next door before they closed, I failed at one of them. Guess which one?

That's right. I missed the walk-off home run by Aramis.

After the Cubs got out of the eighth inning, I decided that unlike last week I wouldn't wait until the end of the game to try to get a sandwich, hoping that the game wouldn't go into extra innings, leaving me stuck at my desk and lunch-less. I figured with the break, Kerry Wood giving up a couple bloop hits and scaring everyone before retiring the Sox, and another break, it would be plenty of time to grab a sandwich and make it back in time for the Cubs bottom half of the ninth.

But as I get back and put back on my headphones, all I hear is dead-air. Relief. I made it. So I checked the score, just in case something bad had happened, like a pitching change because we decided to throw away another one-run game. But no. To my surprise the game was over! 4-3 Cubs! WOO-HOO!

How did this happen I wondered. So, by the power of the internet, I bring you what I would have seen, had I not been waiting for a tuna sandwich at the sandwich shop*:

Scott Linebrink delivers the pitch to Aramis Ramirez

Aramis hits a line-drive shot, deep into the outfield

Ron Santo screams "YES!" at the top of his lungs and almost looses his toupee

It's outta here! Cubs Win! Cubs Win!

Aramis rounds the bases

The bench clears and awaits for Ramirez at home plate

Aramis is mobbed by his teammates

And the Sox fans were thrown out

*some pictures may not have occurred during this game.

Go Cubs!
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Where have my Cubbies gone?

The Cubs are the best team in baseball, as long as they can stay healthy. Well, let's hope we can outplay ourselves for the upcoming weeks because as the graphic below illustrates, this team is looking more like a spring training lineup than anything.


Within a matter of weeks, the Cubs have lost Soriano, Johnson, Lassie, and now Big-Z will miss at least one start. Kevin Hart, down in the Minors, was recently hit by a ball in the head and will be out for a little while. Plus D-Ward, Guzman and Chad Fox are still on the disabled list.

While most Cubs blogs are freaking out...man, it will be interesting to see how the healthy players that are left field and hit in their new positions. One slight edge is that the Cubs are playing interleague play until the end of the month, and can use Soto of the Hoff for the DH. But many players are fielding new positions, especially in the badly beaten outfield. The Hoff has even moved into left for today's game. And what's up with all this switching. At least Big Red is back, although is far from his career almost-.300 average form.

So we've dropped 2 games in row. Not something us fans have been used to this year. But we're on the road against the best home team in baseball since May. Hopefully the Rays won't be our achilles heal like the D-Bags were last year. Of course if that is true, the next meeting will be in the World Series, and depending on the outcome of the All Star Game, whichever league gets the home field advantage might be the determining factor.*

Let's beat the South Side Meth-Heads this weekend! Go Cubs!

*Yes, I understand we still have over 90 games to play. I know it's too early to talk World Series. I am not Dempster.
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Sorry Lassie, looks like no one likes you anymore!

Thanks to desipio.com for the video.


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Cubs Update: Lazyman Edition. Now with pictures!

It's TRL time!

The Cubs took 2 of 3 from the Jays this weekend.

Canada hearts Reed.

I tell you what, Toronto LOVES Reed Johnson. Even when he hit a home run against them, you could see Toronto fans cheering. I don't know if that's classy, or just stupid.

Retractable roofs are so cool!

How about that roof! The pitcher's in the sun, and the batters in shade...wait, now there's a 3 minute delay in the action. Okay, now both are in the shade....wait, now it's back to being one in the shade and one in the sun. WTF!

It's the rubber balls!

From what I can remember listening to the Friday broadcast, Saturday was the first time since 2004 (or 06) that the Cubs have won on turf. I don't know if that's true, I have a tendency to make things up.

I've fallen and I can't get up!

Our players love diving into the stands. Probably trying to steal some tasty Canadian Molson beer.

Dude, get off me, this is my picture!

A.J. Burnett wants to be a Cub. Good idea? Bad idea? I don't know, the blog-o-sphere seems to be mixed about this one, and I of course have no actual opinions of my own.

It's raining, it's poring, Lou Pinella is snoring.

God decided that no one should be playing that pointless Hall of Fame Game. GFY weird named guy that wants to keep it going. See, even God doesn't want any Cubs players to be injured in an exhibition game. Of course Lou basically brought up the entire roster of "who the fuck are these minor league players?" to play the game, but that's neither here nor there.

That was so funny how you made me kept thinking I was going to win.

Tiger came back TWICE to win the US Open, wait, that's not Cub news...

Never trust a group that has only one female member.

First the Jays, now the Rays. Hey, they rhyme. I propose the Blue Jays remove the word "Blue" from their name because I am offended by smurfs, who are blue.

I love that band Pearl Jam.

I've actually run out of witty commentary. I'm kinda like Bob Brenly.

Go Cubs!
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Cubs recap 6/12: Part I - Why are the Cubs wearing Bears Caps Edition?

So how long till the sign says, "Pepsi presents: Wrigley Field, Home of Chicago Cubs"?

Throwback day! How much fun was that.

Okay, seriously, WGN: NEVER, EVER, EVER do that again.

I started listening to the game, and my internet radio apparently had decided to get stuttering disease, so I had to switch over to the internt (MLB.tv) tv feed. Which, keep in mind, I can't actually watch the game at work. I have to try not stab myself in the ear listen to the great Len and Bob do the play by play. Which is bad enough. But I had to listen to them and NOT watch the game.

So basically it involves very inane stories and awesome facts from 1948, such as "there were no lights at Wrigley" (really? I'm not 18, I remember when Wrigley got lights), interrupted sporadically by some game action. And the WORST part. Apparently WGN thought it would be "throwback" to have this insentient typewriter-clicking noise in the background.

Look. It's that annoying typewriter in the background. GFY 1940's technology!

WOW!!! I never thought the broadcasting for the Cubs could get any worse. WGN, you sir have proven me wrong again.

And in truth I actually watched some of the game. Which was great for the first couple innings. Mostly because it was in "throwback" definition. I love it when I can barely see the players and not know what the hell is going on. And it's even better when I'm trying to watch the game on a little-ass window at the bottom of my screen in case my boss decides to come into the room and ask me why all the jobs are late. Okay, yes, I hate the fucking ticker at the bottom of the screen just as much as you. But some newer inventions actually improve the viewing experience. Like let's say the graphic showing the runners on base. Or maybe the pitch count. And how about instant replay. All that Bob talked about after Big-Z gave up the 2 run homer in the first was how much he wished he could watch it on instant replay. Hey, how about watching the game like the other 40,000...okay, so minus all the douche-baggery that has invaded Wrigley lately, let's say 30,000 fans in attendance.

But finally the color and the rest of 2008 tv came back, and it wasn't that bad. I got to "flip-to" the highlights when they happened, which was few and far between until the last batter of the scheduled game. Jimmy fucking "Lassie" Edmonds. Wow! But that's another blog.

Other "throwback" highlights:

• The announcer was positioned behind home plate.
• The EAMUS CATALI sign was changed to 1948 status.
• Something about Pepsi that Bob kept yelping about. Never really understand that one.
• Bob also kept annunciating Greg Norton's name in a REALLY, REALLY annoying 40's voice.
• Actually better music than WGN normally plays in and out of breaks.
• The Braves uni is actually exactly the same, except they have a B on their caps.
• The Cubs uniforms are apparently "Pearly White" according to Len.
• Len (or Bob, can't remember) had an orgasm on air while calling Lassie's game tying home run in true Jack Brickhouse form. Or not. It was kinda gay.

Hopefully I will never have to sit through that pain again. Except of course the actual game. How bad are the Braves? And how good are the Cubs? Look out Canadia, Dempster's coming home.

Go Cubs!
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Soriano Out, New Owner in Soon?

Well I caught the end of tonight's massacre. I turned it on just in time to find out that Soriano was hit in the hand and will be out for around 6 weeks with a fractured bone. This injury hurts but not nearly as much as Soriano's injury hurt last season. Last year Soriano was a much bigger part of the offense. This year he is simply just another big bat in the lineup. Lou is going to move Theriot into the leadoff spot. Either DeRosa or K-Fuk will be batting second. The rest of the lineup is going to look fairly normal. It will be interesting to see who they bring up from Iowa though. I wouldn't mind seeing Murton come up but I'm guessing it will be Micah since it appears Lou has a crush on him. Since Fontenot is probably going to get many more ABs that probably isn't a terrible idea.

Here is another reason why this injury doesn't hurt so bad.

Oh, another solid outting by Dempster. He continues to surprise.

In related news, it looks like we are getting closer to the sale of the Cubs. The team sent out the financials to 9 pre-approved buyers. I really hopes this gets done before the trade deadline but I am not going to hold my breath. Now that I think about it I wouldn't mind it if we simply added by subtraction.....yes I'm talking about you Lassie.

On my way to Hawaii tomorrow. Catch you guys soon.

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A post to save your minds

OK everyone. This post will have no picture or links. I am writing it to simply save you from Drunk Rusty's drivel. Don't ask me why this blog has a poll about burgers....I can't answer that.

Cubs win again tonight. Lilly made a big mistake in the 1st then pitched 6 more solid innings. The entire lineup contributed tonight which is something I am becoming accustomed to at home. It was very nice to see D Lee smash a dinger tonight. That shot of Beam was delicious after Soto's dinger as well. 10-5.....great win. I was impressed to see how they bounced right back from that early hole.

I am heading to Hawaii early Thursday morning. Shortly after that I will be completing the final for the MBA course I am currently taking. Upon the completion of that final I will be free to blog daily again. As of this Saturday you can look forward to more insights (??). I am not going to waste time looking for pictures of fat Cub fan chicks or talking about burgers. It is going to be straight sports talk or something at least relatively relevant.

BTW -How bout that Read tonight? Sure is nice to see a CF who busts his ass from the moment the ball comes off the bat. Whenever you are ready to cut Lassie Jimbo....we are ready.

PEACE!
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One more Lassie Jersey

After reading this Desipio article, I just had to try to create a Cubs jersey with the name Lassie and number 15. Nope, it didn't work, as the article promised. Edmonds must have made a deal because it was so offensive to him. If he really wants to know what offensive is, he should see a certain video with a couple girls and a beverage container. So, while I was there, I thought I'd try some other names that are great for the back of a Cubs jersey. "Drunk" still worked. I thought about getting "Drunker" sometime, though I'm not sure it's possible to be drunker than Drunk Rusty, so I would be wearing a lie. This one was my favorite. If you don't know what GFY is, then GFY.

Ok, that's all I had to say. Great win today
!!! Lilly pitched a hell of a game after that mistake in the 1st. I'll take that kind of performance from him anyday. And I was quite proud to do a shot of Jack for that Soto dinger in the 8th.

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Mmm...Special Sauce!

No game yesterday, which made staying home sick even worse. We could talk about Benson getting cut from the Bears (leaving room for the Wolfe-man to get more carries). Or about K-Fuk possibly moving to center. Or maybe even how Dusty Baker is the worst manager ever, he has managed 3 of 6 players to reach 600 home runs in their career.

But that would require research, thinking, and other stuff that hurts my brain. So, how about a poll.

McDLT vs. the Arch Deluxe


The Arch Deluxe was a hamburger created and marketed by McDonald's with the intent of capturing the adult fast food consumer market, presented as a more sophisticated burger for an adult palate. It failed to catch on and is seen as one of the most expensive flops of all time. The Arch Deluxe was a quarter pound of beef, on a toasted split-top potato flour sesame seed bun topped with a circular piece of peppered bacon, leaf lettuce and tomato, American cheese, onions, ketchup, and a "secret" honey mustard-type sauce. It was seen by some consumer groups as a huge step back after more nutritional offerings such as the "McLean" reduced-fat burger (which also failed).


The Big N' Tasty is the latest in a series of sandwiches that were design to compete against the Whopper sandwich from Burger King. The first sandwich in this line of products was the McDLT sandwich. The McDLT was sold in a novel form of packaging where the meat and bottom half of the bun was prepared separately from the lettuce, tomato, American cheese, pickles, sauces, and top half of the bun and both were then packaged into a specially designed two-sided container. The consumer was then expected to finalize preparation of the sandwich by combining the hot and cool sides just prior to eating. The company discontinued the sandwich in 1990 to appear more environmentally friendly as it moved away from polystyrene packaging which was integral to the McDLT "experience".

VOTE IN THE COMMENTS!
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WHO-AH!

So I'm sitting here watching "Scent of a Woman" and waiting for the Cubs game. Why is that weekends worry me? All week I wait for the weekend so I can go and watch the Cubs on tv, drink some beers, have some shots, eat some burgers, etc. And then the Cubs go and make me feel like shit. Hopefully not...

So last night's game was pretty depressing. Really? No runs? WTF? Plus we finally ended up at Famous Sam's so the tv was shitty (even though we had all 4 tv's on the game). At least the food was decent. I really miss eating beef.

Anyway, GFY! and Go Cubs!
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This Blog is About More than Just Hot Chicks

It's Friday! Woo-hoo!

Seeing as how this is the first actual 5 day work week I have had in over a month, it's been a long one. Last night, the 2 Idiots still in AZ went to the bar to watch the Cubs barely hold a win against LAD. Actually we went to 2 bars. B-Dubs was packed full of Laker fans so we decided to head over to FRD's to watch the game, which was packed full of crappy poker players. Lazy Steve has the day off from work today, so he allowed himself to get "drizunk". Being Drunk Rusty, I decided to do the same.

What an incredibly nail-biting game it was. Dempster made it 3 innings with a no-no, but then the hit parade began and the Cubs had to come-back from a deficit and then later a tie. But it was Fukudome's night, as he hit a homer and then a go-ahead ribbie in the ninth. Then Woody came in and fucked all that shit up before finally striking out the final batter of the game after loading the bases.

So a couple of notes, as I just read on HJE (where else would I get my Cubs news?):

If you plan on attending the Cubs-Cards game on July 4th, bring your binoculars with the camera. Some chick is planning on streaking between the 4th and 5th inning. She is actually serious about it too, and is collecting money to pay for her bail. PLUS, she's not even bad looking. Check her out:


In other photo-worthy news, how much do I love Google Earth? Below is a picture of the Cubs very own Uncle Lou meandering across the street on the Northside. Really it's not that funny, or interesting...at least until you read this post about the picture.


And apparently the Sun-Times is stealing my bit with their "Which team has the hotter fans: Cubs or Sox?" article. See Angry Mike, even "real" journalists like pictures of hot women. Unfortunately none of the pictures of "hot Cub fans" are even hot, except the cutie in the red shirt I have posted about 20 times already. And maybe this girl.


Wait, isn't that Paris Hilton? Who the fuck let her into Wrigley, I thought they didn't allow goats in. HA! I took the poll they have. Cubs fans are WAY hotter, 64% to 46%! Duh!

Well kiddies, I gotta get back to work. These postcards won't design themselves. Have a great weekend! And of course...

Go Cubs!

One more thing...how great is it that Coco Crisp got his ass beat down at the hands of the Rays infielders last night. You can take the "devil" out of the Rays, but you can't take the "we will beat your ass" out of Tampa. (Okay, that made absolutely NO sense). You can youtube it, (as this link will probably be broken in a couple hours) it's hilarious.

Okay, one last parting hot Cubs fans picture. You know, for journalistic integrity.


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