Nerds: sometimes they're hot!
Well it's the 5th Friday of the month (
FIVE FUCKING FRIDAYS!!!, IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD), so you all know what that means! Ladies put on your
sluttiest outfit, guys dress up as your
favorite internet meme (now featuring Balloon Boy). Yep, it's the only weekend of the year where wearing your
furry costume IS acceptable in public.
It also means that it's time for the bi-weekly Idiotic Predictions. This Saturday being Halloween and all, we brought along some of your favorite ghouls and horror movie icons to give their thoughts on this weekend's matchups. Don't worry, it will still be as bad as when
Balloon Boy stopped by, only scarier (and by scary we mean more horrible). Let's get started.
FUCK! Last week the Bears laid a shit egg. I was in Vegas and took the game in at the Times Square Center bar at the NY, NY. That was at least for the first half, until I left and decided losing hundreds of dollars in blackjack was more enjoyable than watching the Bears. The worst part was my gf's dad got us a hotel at Southpoint, which if you haven't been to Vegas, Southpoint is about 4 miles off the strip, which may as well have been in LA because the cab ride was about the same price. So after the beating I had to wear my Bears jersey around all over town. I just loved all the questions about the Bears score! It was funny the first 100 times assholes. Anyways, the Bears take on the Browns this week, which should be a winnable game. Of course so should winning blackjack with a pair of Kings against a dealer showing a five on a hundred dollar hand, but we're not going there. Let's see what the Zombies from Night/Dawn/Day of the Dead think.
Zombies: BRAINS!! BRAINS!!
I agree, it seems like Ron Turner has lost his brain in his play calling and the Bears defensive might as well be playing like they got their arms and legs eaten off by you guys. Fortunately, even a 10 man team of emo nerds dressed as
Twilight characters could beat the Browns.
Bears 28 - Browns 10Let's cheer up, shall we. Purdue has bounced back and won 2 straight after losing 5 in a row. This week they take on the Wisconsin Badgers at Camp Randall. Wisconsin is average at best this year, despite a 5-2 record, which includes barely beating NIU, a double overtime win against Fresno State and narrowly squeaking by Michigan State and Minnesota before losing their last 2 to ranked Ohio State and Iowa. Since the game is at Camp Randall Stadium, we will ask Jason from Camp Crystal Lake his thoughts.
Well, fuck! Jason just cut Lazy's head off. I'm getting the fuck out of here!
Purdue 35 - Wisconsin 24And finally we have NIU, who stay at home against Akron in a rematch of the 2005 MAC Championship when the Zips beat the Huskies on the final play of the game, scoring on a 36-yard TD pass to earn them the MAC crown and a bid to a bowl game (probably the Tire Bowl or some shit like that). This year looks to be different as the Huskies have a winning record of 4-3 under Coach Kill, losing by only 1 point in 2 of those games. But the Huskies haven't been so lucky on Halloween day, and have never won a game (0-5) on Oct. 31st since becoming a major college program. Keeping it local, we asked hunchback dude from DeKalb (if you have ever frequented DeKalb downtown bars, you know who I'm talking about) about the game.
Hunchback Dude: Give me a fucking beer before I punch you in the dick!
Well, looks like HD isn't into talking too much. Just needs another beer that drunk bastard. We still love him though! I think the Halloween Curse is broken by the Huskies, mostly because the Zips are 1-6 and are about as scary as
Chaim's gay assistant in his BDSM outfit.
NIU 21 - Akron 20Speaking of hunchbacks, we might as well predict the ND game, which is at "home" in Texas against Washington State. Since this whole monster gig is going about as well as that time I wore that "God's Gift To Women" costume, let's just go right to the prediction.
ND 13 - WSU 41
How could you NOT get laid wearing this costume?That sure was another awesome round of the Idiotic Predictions! Check back in a couple more weeks for a rousing Veteran's Day edition!
Bear Down!
Share on
Facebook. Follow us on
Twitter.
He gone.
